Tag Archives: trait

Introverts Aren’t “Broken”

Since many children of narcissistic parents are introverted, I thought I would share this for you, my fellow introverts.

 

I’ve seen a great deal lately about introverts & how people try to get us out of our shell.  Teachers tell parents that although their child is a good student, she doesn’t participate enough.  Friends say you “need to get out more” or suggest ways you can incorporate more people into your daily life.  Things like this can leave the introvert feeling bad about herself, feeling flawed because she prefers to read over attending big parties.  This is so wrong!

 

People often fail to realize is being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re broken.  Introversion isn’t a disease in need of a cure or a horrible flaw in need of improvement.  Introversion is simply a personality trait, like having a good sense of humor.

 

Introverts don’t hate people.  Introverts hate spending a great deal of time around people.  There is a difference.

 

While extroverts get energy by being around people, introverts get energy by being alone.  The way an extroverts feel after attending a party is how an introvert can feel after spending an afternoon alone, lost in a good book.  Same results, just different means of getting those results.  One is no better or worse than the other, simply different.

 

If you’re an introvert, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you!  I know it can be hard, but ignore those who try to make you feel “wrong” or “broken” because you’d rather spend your afternoon with a book than surrounded by people.  If you have friends who make you feel that way, then maybe it’s time to find new friends.  People who don’t judge or criticize you, try to change you & accept you the way you are are a true blessing.  I have been blessed with people like this in my life.  My best friend & I are extremely compatible, because when we hang out, neither of us gets offended if the other says, “I need some introvert time.. mind if we call it a day?”  We understand each other’s introverted nature, & although we always have fun together, we also know sometimes alone time is our best friend.  If you’re an introvert, you need at least one friend like this!

 

Dear Reader, I hope you embrace your introverted nature rather than hate it.  There is no shame in being an introvert whatsoever.  Enjoy it!  Introverts unite!  (in small groups.. for very limited periods of time..lol)

 

 

 

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Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

A Frequent Problem Among Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse

Recently I learned something very interesting & also useful for those of us affected by narcissistic abuse.  We are very prone to Cluster C personality disorders.

 

Cluster C personality disorders involve OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Avoidant Personality Disorder & Dependent Personality Disorder:

 

  • OCD involves obsessive, perfectionistic type thoughts.  We need consistency, organization & routine.
  • APD means we are so socially anxious, we avoid social interaction as much as possible.  We are deathly afraid of ridicule or criticism.  We also have very low self esteem.
  • DPD involves indecisiveness, the need for reassurance, clingy behavior, & a fear of being alone.

 

If this describes you, please know you are not alone.  After reading this information, I realized these disorders describe me very well.  I would feel very safe in assuming it’s not just me.  These traits describe so many of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse that I have talked to.

 

There is also one positive note in that personality disorders describe behavior, which means they can be changed.  Personality disorders describe a behavior rather than physical brain damage, so that means they can be changed.

 

So how do you change these dysfunctional & unhealthy behaviors?  In all honesty, I’m not really sure.  Since I just learned about Cluster C disorders, I really don’t know much about them just yet.  I do know, though, that God is the best place to start dealing with any problem.  Since I just learned this information earlier today, I plan to spend some time in prayer later today when I have some uninterrupted private time to try to figure out where to start.  I’m going out on a limb here to say I think God will want me to start with asking Him to tell me the truth.  “Do I really need to be so anxious around other people?  Is it right for me to be so perfectionisitic, so hard on myself?  What is the real truth in these situations?”  (as an example).  That is always a great place to start, listening to God tell you the truth.  He will, & His words are full of healing power.

 

I’m sorry I don’t have more information to share at this moment, but I will share as I learn.    Hopefully it will benefit you as well as me, Dear Readers!  xoxo

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Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism