Children Of Narcissists Matter!

Narcissistic parents, be they overt or covert narcissists, make sure that their children know in no uncertain terms that the parents are the important ones, & the children don’t matter.

 

Growing up, my mother came first, always, in every area.  If I was sick, it was an inconvenience for her.  Growing up seemed to be viewed as a betrayal  rather than a normal course of events.  My father, rather than protect me from her constant abuse told me how hard it was for him that it happened.  Then last May, I had a big argument with my parents (I wrote about it here).  I told my mother flat out I felt betrayed by her behavior, & she didn’t care.  In fact, she sat in silence as I poured my heart out, only giving me an occasional bored sigh in response.  That was also the last time she spoke to me.  The conversation with my father was much the same.  He defended himself until I mentioned I felt he betrayed me, then he went silent, obviously not understanding my perspective, just like my mother, then changed the subject.  Since, he’s barely spoken to me & has yet to offer more than a flimsy attempt at an apology.  He brought up the argument a couple of months ago, & still had no concept of why I was angry.

 

Many narcissistic parents are just as hateful as mine are, so I’m sure many of you reading this can relate.  Unfortunately, I also feel safe in guessing that many of you also battle feelings of worthlessness because of it.  How can you not feel worthless when you are reminded in so many hurtful, cruel ways by your own parent that they believe you to be worthless?

 

Dear Reader, I want to remind you today that you are NOT worthless!  You have great value!  Your narcissistic parent lied to you in order to make herself feel better about herself, to feel powerful since she had the ability to tear you down, or to control & manipulate you since those with low self-esteem are easier to control.  Whatever the reason, she did NOT tell you this because you truly are worthless.  You have worth & value.  God says you’re His masterpiece.. did you know that?   Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”  (NLT)  That is only one of the many, many things the Bible says about who God says His children are.  I created a list of these Scriptures & put them on my website if you’d like to check it out.  Feel free to print them out if you like, & remind yourself that those Scriptures are the truth, not what your narcissistic parent has to say about you!  Here is the link: http://cynthiabaileyrug.com/Positive-Affirmations.php

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5 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Narcissism

5 responses to “Children Of Narcissists Matter!

  1. Saving this for my daughter to read when she gets older. I might just send it to her mother to remind her how selfish she really is.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you.. I’m flattered you find this post that helpful!

      Since her mother is a narcissist, she may not see that her daughter is important if she reads this. If something doesn’t pertain directly to her, chances are slim she’ll pay it any attention- that’s typical narcissist behavior. I pray it helps your daughter.. being the child of a narcissistic parent is incredibly hard.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Your daughter is blessed to have a parent who cares about her. Neither of my parents gave a d_m about me.

      Like

  2. With respect, I’m not entirely sure that your father doesn’t understand your perspective. It may be that he simply pretends not to understand to avoid having to accept responsibility for his failure to protect you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is a good point, Suzanne. Certainly it’s very possible. I’m honestly not sure if it’s that or that he’s that oblivious. My father is a very intelligent man, but as far as emotional intelligence? Not intelligent at all. :/

      Like

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