Narcissistic parents, be they overt or covert narcissists, make sure that their children know in no uncertain terms that the parents are the important ones, & the children don’t matter.
Growing up, my mother came first, always, in every area. If I was sick, it was an inconvenience for her. Growing up seemed to be viewed as a betrayal rather than a normal course of events. My father, rather than protect me from her constant abuse told me how hard it was for him that it happened. Then last May, I had a big argument with my parents (I wrote about it here). I told my mother flat out I felt betrayed by her behavior, & she didn’t care. In fact, she sat in silence as I poured my heart out, only giving me an occasional bored sigh in response. That was also the last time she spoke to me. The conversation with my father was much the same. He defended himself until I mentioned I felt he betrayed me, then he went silent, obviously not understanding my perspective, just like my mother, then changed the subject. Since, he’s barely spoken to me & has yet to offer more than a flimsy attempt at an apology. He brought up the argument a couple of months ago, & still had no concept of why I was angry.
Many narcissistic parents are just as hateful as mine are, so I’m sure many of you reading this can relate. Unfortunately, I also feel safe in guessing that many of you also battle feelings of worthlessness because of it. How can you not feel worthless when you are reminded in so many hurtful, cruel ways by your own parent that they believe you to be worthless?
Dear Reader, I want to remind you today that you are NOT worthless! You have great value! Your narcissistic parent lied to you in order to make herself feel better about herself, to feel powerful since she had the ability to tear you down, or to control & manipulate you since those with low self-esteem are easier to control. Whatever the reason, she did NOT tell you this because you truly are worthless. You have worth & value. God says you’re His masterpiece.. did you know that? Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (NLT) That is only one of the many, many things the Bible says about who God says His children are. I created a list of these Scriptures & put them on my website if you’d like to check it out. Feel free to print them out if you like, & remind yourself that those Scriptures are the truth, not what your narcissistic parent has to say about you! Here is the link: http://cynthiabaileyrug.com/Positive-Affirmations.php