On the morning of July 30, 2016, I woke up from a very odd dream. In it, I saw my in-laws. I was keeping a distance when one of my sisters in-law approached me. My personality in the dream was as it is in real life, & I wanted nothing to do with her due to her past treatment of my husband & I. She meekly mentioned seeing information about narcissism & then talked about their family. She said reading this made her realize how bad things were. I told her I was glad for her because now she can heal. Then I woke up.
I try to pray each morning before I get up, but this particular morning, it was a struggle. I kept thinking about the strange dream & wondering what it meant. God told me that the way I was in the dream is how I am. I value truth over everything else. He called me “a warrior for truth.”
That phrase has stuck in the back of my mind ever since that dream. And, the older I get, the more I realize just how true it is. I need only truth in all areas of my life & all of my relationships.
Truth also helps so much with healing from narcissistic abuse. Learning what the problem was with my relationships helped me to realize that although I did make plenty of mistakes, I wasn’t completely to blame as others claimed I was. For years I carried the blame around for causing other people such heartache & so many problems when the truth was they weren’t my innocent victims as they portrayed themselves to be.
Truth also helped me to have some compassion on those who were abusive to me. Learning why they turned into narcissists or seeing that they had no desire to change their behavior in spite of being miserable gave me a degree of compassion for them which helped me to pray for them while also accepting that they were too dysfunctional to be in a relationship with.
Clearly what Jesus said about the truth will set us free is absolutely accurate!
Sadly though, we live in a world where truth isn’t always as valued as it should be. So many people are comfortable in their dysfunction & would rather avoid the truth if at all possible. They are afraid of leaving their comfort zone, so they believe comfortable lies rather than facing the ugly truth. Certainly feeling that way is understandable! Truth is wonderful but sometimes it can be scary & painful too. The fact however is that even if the truth is painful, it’s still so much better than lies & dysfunction!
Facing the truth means your relationships are healthy, functional & genuine. You can trust those in relationship with you to have your best interests at heart as you have theirs. You know they won’t lie or deliberately hurt you. They also will value you highly because they know you too won’t lie to them or deliberately cause you pain. They know you’re someone of integrity.
Facing truth also means that although some things in life are incredibly difficult, you know you’ll get through the pain & come out just fine on the other side. Certainly that is much better than working so hard to hide from pain your whole life. Isn’t a season of pain better than a lifetime of it?
Please consider what I’ve said. If you’re struggling with facing the truth, just know that it truly is worth doing in spite of the fear. I can promise you that!
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 
Cynthia, i love this term, “warrior for the truth.” It reminds me of something I read a few years back calling these folks the “truth seekers.” We need these folks to call out truths in the face of people whose lexicon does not include very many. Since narcissists tend to be untruthful to merchandize themselves at the expense of others, the warriors for the truth can help set the record straight. The dilemma is the narcissist is more adept at lying, so it takes an effort to combat that tsunami. Keith
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I love it too! And a funny thing.. a friend of mine who I met through my Facebook group recently told me God told her the same thing! I wonder how many people God has called to this role. I hope a lot, because like you said, the world needs this.
It is incredibly hard where narcissists are concerned. Between them being such prolific liars & people preferring their pretty lies over the truth, it truly is a battle.
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Cynthia, believing a narcissist’s view is akin to a social media analyst saying fake news gets read and routed six times more often than the truth. This is a key reason Facebook is slow to remedy this problem. A narcissist lies as one of his or her defense mechanisms, painting a critic with his or her faults first to diffuse the criticism. Keith
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So true. When I accepted the truth that I was abused, that everything wasn’t my fault, it helped me heal. It also helped me understand the sickness behind the abuse and like you, I now pray for them.
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Doctor Ramani has a really great video on the role of the truth teller in the narcissistic family, often they are sidelined.. I really identify with this.. I wonder at times why they are so scared to face it, maybe because it means you have to face vulnerability, humanity and the limits of your own understanding or power at times.. I do not entirely know but I know how important it is to face it, even when it is so deeply painful.
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I think that is why. Narcissists can’t tolerate vulnerability or even simply making mistakes. Admitting what they are would take doing just that.
Agreed…facing truth is extremely important, even when it hurts
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❤
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