August 4, 2013

Good morning, Dear Readers!  I hope this post finds you well today!

I’ve been working on my newest book, “You Are Not Alone!”  for daughters of abusive mothers.  It’s almost done!!  One final look over, then off to the publisher.  Then, I’ll make an ebook version.

Strange thing about this book.. I’ve had a hunch I’ll end up hearing some things I do NOT like to hear about this book, like, “You can’t keep holding onto the past..”  “Get over it”  “You can’t let this stuff get you down.”  Basically, the same invalidating things I’ve heard ever since I realized my mother was abusive.  I’ve already heard a few comments.

The truth is, I really don’t care what people think about me, especially when they are speaking out of pure ignorance.  Even so, it really is irritating to hear the same type of stupid & insensitive comments over & over again.  Why can’t people realize if they can’t say something nice, not to say anything at all??  

I write so much on the topic of surviving abuse because I believe it is what God wants me to do, at least at this time in my life.  He would not have let me go through all I have for no reason!  Helping others makes my lifetime of abuse count for something, & I know beyond a doubt I am helping others.  I have gotten plenty of emails telling me how much I have helped people.  

Also, just because I have Complex PTSD doesn’t mean I am “wallowing” in my pain, haven’t forgiven my mother for all she has done to me or am weak.  I have forgiven her.  I harbor no ill will towards her at all.  However, that still doesn’t heal the damage that has been done.  Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is unlike other types of mental disorders.  The traumatic events that caused C-PTSD actually physically damaged the brain.  Four areas are damaged- short term memory, language skills (finding the right words), emotional regulation & anxiety.  This is a medical fact & does not mean I am weak or “wallowing” in my past.  What it means is that I am damaged as a result of it- I reacted normally to an abnormal amount of trauma.

Whether you have been abused yourself or know someone who has been, please never, ever trivialize the experience!  Abuse is painful & life changing.  If you know someone who has been abused, think before speaking about this topic.  If you can’t say something nice or encouraging, don’t say anything at all!  

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2 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health

2 responses to “August 4, 2013

  1. I know exactly what you mean by this.
    One of my closest friends was abused, and she couldn’t take all of the insensitive and hurtful comments… It was hard for all of us to see her go through it, but we all stood by her.
    She used her experience as a way of making herself stronger instead of weaker. We saw this, but others clearly did not.
    I am glad you use your own experience as a way of helping others. It is an admirable thing to be doing. It shows that you aren’t in fact “wallowing in you pain”, as you put it.
    God bless.

    Like

    • I am so sorry to hear this about your friend. How painful for her & for you to watch her go through it! God bless you for supporting her & understanding her! It’s a shame people don’t realize what she was doing- it sounds like she handled things very well, which isn’t an easy task!

      Thank you for your kind words. I agree- using pain to help others is definitely not wallowing- it is moving on in a healthy way. Too bad more people don’t see that.

      God bless you, & thank you for your comment! Have a great day!

      Like

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