Good evening, Dear Readers!
My father recently had a mild stroke, which in addition to other health problems, has made him much more frail than he was. My mother has some health problems as well, so they need some help. This is where I come into the picture.
Being my parents’ only child, I think it’s only right for me to help them. Plus, I’m good at caregiving. I think most children of narcissistic parents are- we learned early in life how to read people & detect their needs. I’ve promised them part of the day each Sunday for this. This already makes me nervous, since both are narcissistic. I was a caregiver for my mother’s narcissistic mother for about a year, & it was miserable! I’m hoping & praying my parents aren’t as bad as my grandmother was.
So far, it’s been more difficult, but in different ways.
My folks are lonely, & want company as much as they want help. They’re frustrated with losing some independence. And, the new issues haven’t fixed the dysfunction in their marriage- they still fuss at each other & play head games.
I feel sorry for them.
In the time I spent caring for my narcissistic grandmother, this never happened. I didn’t think it would happen with my parents. Imagine my surprise.
This has made me have to work hard on keeping my focus on God’s will for this situation & my boundaries.
These may be my parents, but they also are dangerous to my mental health. The C-PTSD flares up in their presence, especially the anxiety. I also realized how quickly I slip into old, dysfunctional, unhealthy mindsets around them. This taught me how I need to keep focused on God & what is true. I will frequently ask God to remind me of what He says about me & what is true.
My plan to help them & keep my mental health is to pray even more than usual. I’ll be praying prior to visiting them. And, asking God to help me have discernment when needed, & to remember His truth about me, so any criticisms don’t hurt me.
I also realize I’ll need to get better at having a self care routine, & remembering to take things one day at a time. Maybe one hour at a time on bad days…another thing to ask God to help me with.
I’ll be sharing some about my new “adventure” in this blog. I pray it’ll help you if you too are the child of a narcissistic parent. ❤