Recently, I’ve been having a lot of repressed memories return to the surface along with a flashback. I had a total of 6 repressed memories & 1 flashback in a period of 2 days. Not a fun 2 days for sure! However, I realized something. They all had reasons for happening.
Flashbacks & repressed memories show you what areas you need healing in. If you’ve dealt with events properly, you won’t have flashbacks about them. You’ll also remember them, so they won’t be repressed memories returning to the surface. Although they’re rough, at least flashbacks & repressed memories can help you see what you need to work on.
They also can enable you to feel emotions that you couldn’t feel, let alone process, at the time of the trauma. When I experienced mine recently, for the first time, I felt all the pain, anger & fear I was unable to feel at the time because I was simply trying to survive. Feeling those emotions enabled me to release the pain. Finally!
Flashbacks & repressed memories also are a good validation for why you’re low or no contact with your narcissistic parent. I only recently blocked my parents’ phone number after months of no contact from them. My father apparently called, & couldn’t reach me so he sent his flying monkeys after me to tell me to call him. Considering his age & failing health, I honestly had a tough time not calling him at first. Thank God I have a loving God & good friends who reminded me why I blocked his number in the first place to get me through the worst of it. A bit later is when the flashback & repressed memories happened. They really helped drive home the fact that I need to stay away from my parents. They showed me exactly how abusive & dysfunctional they are.
I know flashbacks & repressed memories are extremely painful to deal with, but if you allow yourself to learn & heal from them, at least that pain won’t be in vain. If you’re unsure what you’re supposed to learn or do after a flashback or a repressed memory returns, then pray. God will show you what the purpose of it coming to your mind at this time is. I also suggest keeping a journal. Writing things down gives you something to look back on. It reminds you of things you may have forgotten, & offers you strength when you see how far you’ve come. A written record can be a wonderful thing! I use an online, password protected diary so my journal is completely private. No one reads it but God & I. There are plenty to choose from, so you might want to do the same.