Validating Those With C-PTSD

Many of you who follow my work have the same debilitating disorder as I do, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & I want to offer you some validation today.  I know validation is often hard to come by with C-PTSD, so I’m sure you need it.

Many people who don’t have C-PTSD don’t really even believe it’s a real thing.  They think it’s some made up disorder.  Others think it was caused from being too negative or not “thinking happy thoughts.”  Some people also think we’re weak for being so affected by the abuse that gave us C-PTSD.  This commonly happens among those who also experienced abuse but didn’t develop the disorder. 

There is so much that people who think in these ways don’t realize, yet in spite of their obvious ignorance, they somehow manage to make those of us with C-PTSD feel terrible about having this disorder.  That should not be!  There is no reason to feel badly or even ashamed of yourself for having this disorder, & I’ll tell you why.

C-PTSD is a potentially fatal disorder.  Living daily with crippling anxiety & depression, having frequent nightmares & flashbacks is absolutely miserable.  Even when doing everything possible to heal, almost everyone with C-PTSD lives with at least some of the symptoms for their entire life.  Many people who live with it seriously consider suicide rather than live this way.  And sadly, many of those people go on to end their own lives.  If you keep going in spite of feeling this way, you are strong & courageous!

Many people assume people with C-PTSD are just lazy.  Most of us with C-PTSD push ourselves extremely hard each & every day just to survive.  This takes up almost all of a person’s energy.  Many people with C-PTSD can’t do more than simply survive many days.  Add in normal daily activities such as working, doing laundry, going to the grocery story & more, & by the end of each day, the average person with C-PTSD is exhausted both mentally & physically.  That exhaustion doesn’t mean a person is lazy.  It means a person is struggling with a very real & very difficult mental disorder.  Remember this the next time someone accuses you of being lazy.

Many people think that people with C-PTSD are faking their symptoms as a cry for attention.  This is not even close to accurate.  If we’re faking anything, we are faking being much better off than we really are.  Most people get very uncomfortable when they’re around someone whose symptoms are flaring up, & rather than make people feel that way, most of us try to hide them or distance ourselves from others when that happens.  Other people see us at our best, not our worst, & jump to the conclusion that since they don’t see us waking up screaming from nightmares, having flashbacks,  or crying in the shower, we must be faking having C-PTSD.   They are absolutely wrong though!  No, you are NOT faking C-PTSD.  I believe you!!  If you’re faking anything, it’s being much better off than you really are.

Many people assume if you don’t discuss having C-PTSD often, it can’t be all that bad.  These people couldn’t be more wrong.  Many people are private, & don’t feel comfortable discussing details of such a personal topic as a mental disorder.  Also, many of us with this awful disorder developed it as a direct result of narcissistic abuse.  Narcissists have zero tolerance for the problems of other people, & can be so proficient with their gaslighting, they convince their victims that no one wants to hear about any problem they have or even that they don’t have this problem.  Even after the abuse is over & the narcissist is out of their victim’s life, the victim often continues to gaslight himself or herself without realizing it by thinking no one cares that they have this problem or that they don’t really have a problem at all.  In spite of the overwhelming evidence that they have C-PTSD, they still minimize the symptoms & severity of it or even doubt they have it.  This is normal, & I struggle with this myself more often than I care to admit.  It’s ok to admit you have this disorder to yourself & others.  You don’t have to discuss it non stop of course, but you do have the right discuss whatever you feel comfortable discussing.  And, if you prefer not to discuss it, that doesn’t mean you don’t have it or it isn’t all that bad!  It just means you’re a private person, which is perfectly fine! 

I hope those of you with C-PTSD feel more validated after reading this post.  Living with C-PTSD isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination, & you deserve credit for having strength & courage.  You also deserve validation!