“If You’re Not For Me, You’re Against Me!”

**I apologize to those of you who saw this post early.  I intended to save my thoughts as a draft, then get back to completing the article later.  I guess my trigger finger got happy & I hit “publish” instead of “save draft”.   Ooops.. here is the finished post**


So many people have this dysfunctional mindset these days, where they think if you don’t agree with their opinions or their lifestyle 110%, you are the enemy.  Obviously you must hate them since you aren’t jumping up & down with enthusiasm at their life.


I’ve been on the receiving end of this hatred, being called racist & a homophob, & frankly it baffled me as well as hurt me.  I have friends of various races, genders,  religious beliefs & sexual orientation.  As much as I love animals, I’m even friends with avid hunters.  I honestly can’t say I support every single person in my life 110%.  Truth be told, they don’t support me 110% either.  But yanno something?  It’s fine!  We also don’t judge & criticize each other.  We accept the other person as they are.


Does this sound un-Christian to you?  I honestly don’t believe it is.  Mark 12:31 says, “And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.” (KJV)  I really don’t see anything in that verse that says we should only show love to those who think exactly as we do.  To me, as long as they are good people & not judgmental, we stand a good chance at being friends.


Growing up in a narcissistic environment, I honestly thought those who didn’t see things as I did were wrong, & we shouldn’t be friends.  It took growing up & getting to know God before I realized that no two people will agree completely, & there is nothing wrong with that.


Some people can handle being friends with those who are their polar opposites, without arguing, & even with deep respect for each other.  Then there are others who absolutely cannot handle having people in their lives who disagree with them on any matter at all.  Still others fall somewhere in the middle.


You need to know your feelings on this matter.  Do you object to being in relationship with people who are different to you or are you open to new experiences?  However you feel, then you need to find other people who feel the same way as you do if you wish to have peaceful relationships.


If you’re closed minded at the thought of having friends who have differing view points to you, then I’d like to suggest being a bit more open minded.  It’s quite interesting, the things you can learn from other people.  As an example, while yes, I’m a devoted Christian, I have a good friend who has been involved in the Pagan religion for many years.  Although I disagree with most aspects of it, I have learned that they know so much about herbal remedies.  This has intrigued me!  After all, prescription & man made medicines often have wicked side effects.  Natural remedies have a great deal less side effects & often work just as well, if not better, than their man made counterparts.  What’s not to love?  In fact, I use herbal remedies to help manage my C-PTSD & anxiety, sometimes also insomnia.  I believe God created these things, so there can’t be anything wrong with using them.


Before slamming someone or ending a relationship because you two disagree, why not try opening your mind a bit?  And, if you find you don’t feel their view would be right for you, this doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends.  Focus on what is right for you & accept the fact that what works for you may not work for another, or vice versa.  Ultimately, our life choices are between us & God.  People shouldn’t judge others.




































Filed under Christian Topics and Prayers, Mental Health, Narcissism

7 responses to ““If You’re Not For Me, You’re Against Me!”

  1. Amen to that! I’m not a devout Christian but I respect that you are. We could all benefit from a bit more respect for individuality these days. Thank you for this.


    • I apologize.. I wrote out some thoughts that I was saving for a draft & accidentally published it.. mercy.. lol I’ll be revising it & publishing very soon.

      Thank you though!! I think so too- we could all do with more respect for individuality!


  2. You and I are in the same camp on this. I have found it increasingly difficult to have a calm, rational, respectful discussion about anything more controversial than the weather (and sometimes even THAT invokes angry outbursts). With few exceptions we have become a nation of immature, self-centered, uncivilized chauvinists, intent on denying anything that doesn’t originate with us. Narcissism seems to be the dominant trait in our society.


    • I apologize- I accidentally published this. I was sketching out thoughts & rather than saving my draft, I accidentally hit publish. I’ll publish the full thing in the near future..

      I totally agree though.. this has gotten so far out of hand! It’s just ridiculous that people can’t agree to disagree anymore. It seems to me it’s gotten worse as NPD has. Sad…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. sharonp1us

    This is the tough thing, sometimes who you associate with hurts you a lot. You become part of their world, a co-conspirator in their drama. As a responsible adult, you are saying, “I eat meat, so, I take responsibility for being a hunter.” Every person is different from me, so, I’m a social being and I love that variety in people. The difference is distance.

    Some people are predators you can’t control. Some people are sick with an infectious disease that you are unprepared to contain. Some people are a burden that you can’t carry. Take the narcissist, is it the fact they don’t know they are a narcissist that makes them dangerous.

    “Oh, excuse me, I have no empathy so sometimes people around me get hurt. I think that’s good for everyone.”

    They can’t fix their biology. The burden is on you to set a boundary they don’t cross. How strong are you fences?


  4. Pingback: Not Every Cause Can Be Your Cause | CynthiaBaileyRug

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