Wifely Submission & Ungodly Husbands

I have often heard preachers mention Ephesians 5:22, which says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”  For many people, they seem to think this means that wives should blindly obey their tyrant husbands, no matter what.  However, I firmly believe that blindly submitting to ungodly husbands can lead to sin & should not be encouraged or condoned.  Today, I want to address the misconception surrounding this verse & emphasize the importance of prioritizing God’s will above all else, even our husbands.

It’s crucial to understand the context of Ephesians 5.  The apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesian church, offering guidance on how to live as followers of Christ.  The surrounding verses expand on the love between husbands & wives & their roles.   Verse 5:25 tells husbands, “Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Lastly, Ephesians 5:33 ties things together beautifully: “However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].”  The Bible is quite clear on how spouses should treat each other.

Also, it’s important to remember Ephesians 5:21 calls for mutual submission, stating, “being subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.”  Submission is NOT only for wives!

God created marriage to be a partnership based on love, respect, & mutual submission.  If a husband’s requests or actions go against God’s teachings, wives must discern & prioritize their obedience to God.  Matthew 6:33 reminds us to seek God’s kingdom & righteousness above all else, promising that everything else will be taken care of.  When faced with a situation where a husband’s desires conflict with God’s ways, wives should prioritize God’s will.

Submission also should never mean surrendering integrity, dignity, or safety.  If a husband’s demands involve abuse or manipulation, it is essential for wives to seek help & protect themselves.  God does not desire for anyone to suffer abuse.

As Christians, our ultimate allegiance should be to God.  Placing God above our husbands does not mean disregarding or disrespecting them.   It means recognizing that our obedience to God should never be compromised for the sake of pleasing anyone, even our spouse.

By prioritizing God above all else, wives can ensure that their actions align with His perfect will.  This may involve respectfully challenging their husbands when necessary, engaging in open & honest communication, & striving for a marriage reflecting God’s love & grace.

Trusting in God & seeking His guidance through prayer, & study of His word is essential.  God promises to give us wisdom when we ask for it in James 1:5, so you can rest assured He will provide wisdom on how to manage difficult any situation, including those within marriage.

Ephesians 5:22 should not be interpreted as a call for blind submission, especially to ungodly husbands.  Instead, it should be viewed as a part of how to cultivate a marriage that reflects God’s love, grace, & mutual submission.  Placing God first & seeking His will above all else is crucial for maintaining healthy & God honoring relationships.