The Difference Between Forgiveness & Trust

Forgiveness & trust are two interconnected yet distinct concepts that play a significant role in relationships. As Christians, we are often encouraged to forgive, but it is crucial to understand that forgiveness does not automatically involve trust.

Imagine a close friend who repeatedly betrayed your trust. They have broken promises, revealed your secrets, or consistently made hurtful remarks. Despite your genuine desire to forgive them, you find it increasingly difficult to trust them. That is normal & also wise!  The truth is, forgiveness & trust are separate entities. Forgiveness frees us from the weight of anger & resentment. Trust is a foundational element of healthy relationships that is earned through consistent behavior & genuine remorse & change when mistakes are made.

Forgiveness does not require feeling affectionately towards someone who has hurt us. Instead, it is about releasing them from the expectation of making it up to us for the pain they have caused. No action is required on the offender’s part. This does not mean blindly trusting someone who has repeatedly hurt us, especially when they are aware of their actions yet make no changes. Trust requires consistent effort & genuine remorse from the other person.

Forgiveness liberates us from the negative emotions associated with past hurts & abuses. By forgiving someone, we release the burden of anger, resentment, & desire for revenge. It allows us to prioritize our emotional well being over holding onto grudges.

Holding onto anger & resentment only perpetuates our own suffering. It does not punish for the other person but rather limits our own happiness & growth. By forgiving, we break free from this & create space for healing. Forgiveness does not require forgetting or condoning the actions of others; it simply allows us to release the negative emotions associated with those actions.

Forgiveness also fosters empathy & compassion. It helps us understand that everyone is capable of making mistakes. By forgiving, we choose to see the humanity in others & recognize that they too are on their own journey of growth & self discovery. It opens up the possibility for reconciliation & rebuilding relationships based on trust, should the other person demonstrate genuine remorse & consistent change.

Trust is different. It is a crucial component of healthy relationships that requires consistent effort & genuine remorse. Trust easily can be broken but takes time & consistent actions to rebuild. When someone repeatedly hurts us, especially knowingly, it becomes challenging to trust them again, not to mention unwise.

To trust someone, their actions must align with their words over an extended period. Trust requires consistent behavior that demonstrates growth, change, & empathy. Someone who repeatedly causes pain without genuine remorse or effort to change does not deserve trust.

While forgiveness allows us to let go of negative emotions, protecting ourselves from repetitive hurt is equally important. By withholding trust from someone who has repeatedly hurt us, we set healthy boundaries & prioritize our well being. Trust is not an entitlement; it is a privilege that must be earned through consistent actions & genuine remorse.

As Christians, we are called to forgive & show compassion to others. However, this does not mean exposing ourselves to repetitive harm or relinquishing the need for self protection. It is essential to strike a balance between forgiveness & self preservation. By setting healthy boundaries & protecting ourselves from repetitive hurt, we prioritize our well being without compromising values. We can forgive someone without trusting them & maintaining a safe distance. It is crucial to remember that forgiveness is a personal journey, & trust must be earned, allowing us to strike a balance between compassion & self protection.

Forgiveness & trust are two distinct concepts that require careful consideration in relationships. By understanding the difference between forgiveness & trust, we can maintain balance, prioritize our well being & have healthier, more fulfilling relationships.