Confronting or Comforting??

I was watching Bishop T.D. Jakes this morning.  He said something that struck a chord in me- “Some people don’t confront what’s wrong, they comfort it.”

This is so true of many people.  So many folks can’t seem to handle deep issues, only light & happy things.  When you tell one of these people anything about your abusive mother, they just can’t handle it.  They make excuses for her behavior, blame you, tell you it’s your place to make things right with her, or say other stupid things like “She’s the only mother you’ll ever have!” They have similar responses if you have mental health problems- “You need to get out more,” “Cheer up!”, “Think happy thoughts!”, “You need to get over it.”, “You’re not a soldier- you can’t have PTSD!”

Everyone who opens up about being abused or having mental health issues has to deal with someone like this at some point.  It’s painful, especially when it comes from someone you are close to, & you expected to be supportive.  I just want you to remember something- when someone behaves this way, it doesn’t mean you are crazy, wrong, need to make things right with your mother.  When someone can’t handle the “ugly” things in life, that is something wrong with them, not you.  Please remember that!

You need to exercise wisdom on how much you tell who about your experiences since some people, even ones you’re close to, may never be able to handle tales of your experiences.  Only discuss your experiences with compassionate, non-judgmental people.  

However, this doesn’t mean you need to be silent about your experiences!  I personally believe that although God doesn’t want painful things to happen to you, He can create a purpose for them.  For me, I have been able to help other daughters of narcissistic mothers via my books & website.  I don’t know what your purpose is, but rest assured, you have a purpose for surviving what you have survived!  Ask God to show you your purpose, & He will! 

October 31, 2012

Good afternoon everyone!  I hope this finds you well today.

What a day.. I had to take sweet little Sabrina to the vet for a follow up check for her ear infection.  As I was driving down the highway, I passed the library where I worked in my teens.  Immediately, I had a flashback to my mother screaming at me in that parking lot when I was 17.  I never had one behind the wheel before, & I hope I never do again.  Thank God, there was a red light, so I could sit still to regroup.  As I was trying to focus on staying reality, thankfully, Sabrina scratched my finger a little, barely breaking the skin.  The sensation helped tremendously to ground me.  Such a bizarre experience, but even so, I could feel God’s love around me.  He also helped me to drive while it was happening since I didn’t have a place to pull over. 

On the good side of today, Miss Sabrina is doing pretty well with the nasty infection.  She still has a bit of vertigo, & slight partial facial paralysis, but the infection is improving.  God willing, another 2 weeks of antibiotics & a few days of steroids will knock it out.  She was wonderful for the vet, & has charmed every single person she saw at the hospital this morning.. 🙂