Use code SHOP15 at checkout when you buy any of my print books & get 15% off until January 15, 2021!
Books can be found on my website at: https://www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com or visit my publisher’s site directly at: https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/CynthiaBaileyRug
I just got a email from one of the publishers I use. They will be making some changes that will affect my free ebooks, which has gotten me to do some thinking….
I’ve been considering retiring all of them & republishing with the other publisher I use to gain more exposure. Due to the changes, I plan to do just this.
Since I need to redo the ebooks anyway, I’m going to add more to them & they’ll no longer be free. Probably I’ll only ask a little for them, like maybe $.99 since I don’t plan to add a lot to them.
While these books won’t be free, my website, this blog, my YouTube channel & podcasts all still will be. There is plenty of information on these sources. While I’m glad to share all of the information I can, I need some more balance. I need to start charging for some of it. Helping people is great & I love it, but it also doesn’t pay the bills either!
I’ll retire my free ebooks by January 31, 2021. In the meantime, you can find them at this link:
https://cynthiabaileyrug.com/home/free-e-books/
You can find all of the other links I’ve mentioned on my website at this link:
Thank you for understanding! God bless you!
Many of my ebooks are on sale until January 1, 2021! Use code WINTER30 at checkout. See my books at the following link:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
All of my print books are 10% off until December 11, 2020 with code FESTIVE10 at checkout.
Find my books at the following link:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
I’ve always loved cats deeply. Unlike my human family, my cats are kind, gentle, love unconditionally, offer support when I need it & so much more.
I realize not every person feels this way about cats. The good part of that is most of those people offer no judgment. They simply agree to disagree with me. They also like animals, & many don’t have any pets because they realize they don’t have the time, money or energy to devote to being a good pet parent. I completely respect these people.
Those I don’t respect are the people who blatantly hate animals & have no problem showing it.
It’s a known fact in the psychological community that many who hate animals may one day turn their hatred on people. Jeffrey Dahmer tortured cats & other small animals & collected their corpses as a child. Most everyone knows what atrocities he did in his adult life.
I have found through my own experiences & those of others I’ve spoken with that many narcissists, although not serial killers, dislike animals, & often in particular cats. I have no scientific evidence to confirm this, but in my observations, I came up with a few ideas why this happens.
Cats’ brains are similar to human brains. They often are able to sense manipulation & abusers quickly, & they ardently avoid abusers. It must be incredibly frustrating for a narcissist that they can rule some people completely, yet they can’t conquer a 10 pound animal. How insulting that must be to a narcissist!
Some people don’t believe this, but cats understand civility. Many times, my parents would be getting along fine with one of my cats, then they would say something insulting either to me or the cat. That cat would either leave the room or scratch my parent. Every time, they were stunned. They never understood that cats want civility & basic respect for themselves & their parents. Not receiving those things or seeing their parent mistreated makes them rightfully angry, & they can act out.
Cats come across as aloof & as if they don’t need people. Cat parents know this is only how they may appear… they love & depend on their parents a great deal yet aren’t often friendly to many others. Narcissists often take this behavior as a personal insult rather than a cat simply being a cat. How dare this cat not shower them with affection! Something clearly must be wrong with that cat!
If you’re a cat parent & wondering if someone in your life is an unsafe person or even a narcissist, let your cat help you figure it out!
Anyone who comes into your home & insults your cat knowing how much you love him or her is unsafe. A normal person would keep their negative thoughts to themselves because they wouldn’t want to hurt or offend you.
Anyone who comes into your home & complains because you allow your cat on your sofa or bed is showing signs of control issues. It’s your home- why would anyone care what your cat does within it? What happens in your home doesn’t affect them so it’s really no one’s business what happens there. Control freaks think what they want to happen is all that matters, even in someone else’s home.
Some people ask cat parents to lock their cats in another room while they visit. To me, this is the epitome of selfish & entitled behavior. The equivalent to this is asking a parent to lock up their human child in a room while visiting. Most people would agree that would be completely unacceptable & offensive. Why would it be ok to do this regarding an animal yet not a human? It isn’t. It’s a sign of selfishness & someone who wants to be in control.
I firmly believe that how someone treats animals can be a very good indicator of that person’s true character.
Filed under Animals, Mental Health, Narcissism
My publisher is having a really good sale on print books. 30% off!! To take advantage, use code BFCM30 at checkout.
My books can be found at the link below:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
My publisher is having yet another sale on print books. 10% off until November 20, 2020. Use code SELFPUBLISH10 at checkout
My books can be found at this link:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
My publisher is offering another sale on my print books. This one is good for 10% off all print products until November 13, 2020. Use code READ10 at checkout.
Here is the link where you can find my print books:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
Use code FRIENDS15 & get 15% off any of my print books until November 6. All of the print versions are available at this link:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
My publisher is offering 10% off on my print books until October 30, 2020. Just use code SPOOKY10 at checkout.
Here is the link to my author spotlight on my publisher’s site:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
I have debated quite a bit about sharing this post since it’s so unusual, but feel like it may be a good thing to share. I hope it encourages others who have lost their beloved pets.
Years ago, I wrote a book called, “Pawprints On Our Hearts”. I wrote it after realizing just how much my wonderful pets have taught me over the years. Losing them also has been a learning experience for me. Mostly it taught me they still love us & think of us even after passing on.
Some of you know, we lost one of our cats in the early hours on June 24. Fergus was just under 4 years old & healthy. He had spent much of his final day chasing his favorite laser pointer, in fact. His sudden & unexpected death came as a total shock to all of us.
Losing a beloved pet is always a huge struggle for me. My pets are my kids, & are more family to me than my human family. Somehow, losing Fergus was even harder than usual. So hard, I couldn’t even face his death at first because it hurt too much. For someone like me who believes in facing pain head on to deal with it, that is highly unusual & confusing. To cope, I did a lot of praying as I was able to.
Last week, I couldn’t stop crying one evening & in the midst of that, God told me some wonderful things.
Fergus always knew somehow that he wouldn’t have a long life. That is why he was so passionate & playful- he wanted to enjoy every possible moment of whatever time he had.
Also, he died of a stroke as I suspected. I was confused at first, because my late snowshoe girl, Jasmine, had her first stroke at 13 yet survived with minimal problems. God told me that Fergus’ stroke was different. He would have been paralyzed if he survived, so God felt it kinder to take him rather than let him live in a state that would’ve made Fergus miserable. I had to agree.
God also said Fergus is happy & playing lots. He also loves me, but is worried about me being so sad he’s gone. God told him this is what happens with humans when we lose someone we love. It’s normal & it will get better in time.
This was a lot to absorb, so I asked God to give me a sign if it was true. I was listening to music shuffling on my cell phone at the time. The song that came on immediately after asking for a sign was Queen’s “The Show Must Go On” & I knew in my heart, this was my sign. Fergus was very flamboyant, passionate, caring, intelligent & loving. This song is one of my favorites by Queen. It was written by the guitarist for the lead singer when he was dying. The lead singer, upon thinking about it, was quite similar to Fergus.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I hope to offer you comfort if you too have lost a beloved pet. Animals have souls, just like people. When they die, their souls move on just like people’s do. They also love deeply, & death doesn’t change that.
If you’re missing your beloved furbaby, then please, turn to God. He can & will be glad to give you what you need to help you cope. I have experienced that repeatedly! Fergus isn’t the first one of my cats to have a special song. Far from it! Jasmine’s is, “Angel” by Aerosmith. Georgie’s is, “Angel Eyes” by Steelheart. Vincent’s is “Someday We’ll Be Together” by the Supremes. There are others as well, but I don’t want to bore you with the long list. Anyway each time God told me that my loved ones wanted me to know about a special song, healing started. He may do the same for you or He may do something else to help you start to heal. Whatever happens, it will be what God knows will help you more than anything. It’ll bring you comfort & peace knowing that one day, you’ll see your sweet little furbaby again. In the meanwhile, God is caring for that little one.
And, just because I love showing off my furkids, here’s Fergus. Yes, that tail is orange tabby striped. No, it doesn’t look like it belongs on a white kitty. We are reasonably sure it held magical powers because everyone who saw Fergus fell in love with him.. lol
Filed under Animals, Christian Topics and Prayers
As I mentioned not long ago, I decided to stop creating YouTube videos in favor of podcasts. It’s easier for me to do podcasts & I am seriously focusing on making my life easier!
I decided to do one other thing.. I have made available on my website (www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com) my notes that I used in my podcasts & YouTube videos. Since some folks have issues with sensory processing or just prefer to read rather than watch a video or listen to a podcast, I thought I would do this for them. The notes are all on this link. Feel free to download as many as you like for your personal reference. As I add new podcasts in the future, I’ll naturally add the notes to this page. If you lose the link, simply visit www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com & look at the list of links at the top of the page. You’ll see it there.
Also, I added a search bar to my website, so you can find information on there easier now. Rather than read through lots of pages, you can simply type in your search critera & it will bring up results. Enjoy!
Thank you to everyone who has been so encouraging about the changes I’ve decided to make. I truly value your input. 💖
Just a friendly reminder that all of my ebooks are still 25% off until July 31, 2020. They can be found at this link:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
My publisher is offering a 15% discount on all print books until July 3, 2020. You can find my books at the following link: https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/cynthiabaileyrug
My ebook publisher is offering a sale on all of my ebooks from July 1-31, 2020. They will be 25% off. They’re available on my website or use this link to go to the site directly: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
I decided to try something new.. podcasts. The idea popped into my head recently, even though I know nothing of podcasts. It felt like God was leading me in a new direction, so I decided to give it a try.
To get started, I’ve decided to use the audio from my YouTubes. Yes, it’s a repeat of information having it on podcasts, YouTube & in this blog, but not everyone learns the same way. Some are visual learners & love YouTube. Some learn best from reading & others prefer learning audibly. I doubt many people will benefit from all three formats, so by doing them, it enables more people to (hopefully!!) learn from my work.
If you’d like to check them out, here is the link:
https://anchor.fm/cynthiabaileyrug
I only have a few out there at the moment, but I’ll add more as time goes on. I was hoping to get all of them done asap, but yanno something? I can’t get them done quickly. Not with my mental health. So, I hope you’ll be understanding & patient with me taking my time in adding more podcasts.
My ebooks are currently on sale until May 31, 2020. Check them out at the following link:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
From March 20-April 20, 2020, all my ebooks are 30% off. They can be found at this link:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
My publisher is offering a 25% off sale on my ebooks from March 1-7. Find them at the link below:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
My publisher is having a sale on my e-books from December 25 until January 1. All e-books will be 25% off. Check it out at the link below…
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
My ebook publisher is having a sale on my books for the entire month of July. 25% off! Check it out at the link below
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
I’ve decided to take a hiatus from writing books for a while. Dealing with my mother’s estate is a lot of work, & with my mental & physical limitations, also excessively stressful. Writing is a lot of work, so I don’t feel I can write & deal with that at the same time. Or, if I could, I doubt I’d do either all that well. So, writing books is going on the back burner for a bit.
I’m still going to keep up with this blog & my YouTube channel though.
Since I have some really wonderful readers, I know you’ll understand & I thank you so much for that understanding. xoxo
I am still working with my parents’ cat to earn her trust & bring her home. (It’s so much more humane than trapping her to bring her home. The last thing that poor girl needs is more trauma!) She is making remarkable progress, I’m happy to say. But, remarkable progress is still somewhat slow since I’ve realized she has feline PTSD. Considering the circumstances surrounding my mother’s passing, it’s very understandable. Luckily for me, I already have a cat with PTSD so I’m pretty familiar with it. I know it takes lots of wisdom, patience, understanding & love to help a cat (or a human) with PTSD.
During the very recent past, Molly has let me get close to her. I’ve taken advantage of that & shot some short videos. She now has her own playlist on YouTube containing those videos. I thought I would share the link here since many of my readers are also animal lovers. Enjoy! xoxo
Filed under Animals
From March 3-9, 2019, my publisher is having a sale! All of my ebooks will be 25% off.
Come check it out at: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/CynthiaBaileyRug
Since so many of you who follow my work are also animal lovers, I thought I would take one of my periodic rides off the topic of narcissism to talk about animals.
On this day in 2007, my first cat, Magic, died, & this post is my way to honor him. He died quietly in my arms after living with heart problems for 3 years. I wondered sometimes after he died if his death was going to kill me. He was my furry soulmate & best friend. I went through life on auto pilot for quite some time after his death. Yes, I was glad Magic was healthy again & with God, but even that didn’t console me. I wanted my special guy back & knowing that wasn’t going to happen was incredibly painful & hard to accept.
My feelings & experiences aren’t unique. Many animal lovers suffer greatly when their beloved pet dies. I have some suggestions to help you get through that awful time.
Accept that you never will “get over” losing your baby. Instead, you need to adapt to a new life without your loved one. There is no easy way to do this. Take it one step at a time.
Grief takes time, so don’t rush yourself or berate yourself for not “being over” it yet. The more you try to rush the grief process, the longer it will end up taking.
Cry. Admittedly, that sounds like common sense, but often a reminder is necessary. You just lost someone you love dearly, & need to cry. There is absolutely no shame in this!
When reminders of your lost one happen, feel your grief at that time rather than ignore it. Yes, it’s hard when it suddenly hits you that this is the usual time you gave your baby his medicine & now you don’t have to do it, but ignoring that sadness only hurts you more. Feeling the pain enables you to process it.
Be careful who you talk to about your experiences & pain. Not everyone feels the same way you do about animals. This means that whether intentional or not, some people can say insensitive & invalidating comments. They will hurt worse when you’re already hurting, so use wisdom on who you talk to.
Don’t rush out & adopt a new pet immediately. Adopting another pet may be just what you need to help you get through your grief. Or, it may be a painful reminder that your loved one is no longer with you. Some people adopt another pet who resembles the one who recently passed, unconsciously expecting the new pet to act like the old one, then are disappointed when that doesn’t happen. If you wish to honor your departed one by adopting another pet, seriously think about it first. Then only adopt another if you feel strongly in your heart it is a good move for you at the time.
If you don’t journal, now may be the perfect time to start. Write out your feelings. Write about your memories of good times shared with your pet. It will help you to write these things out.
Create some type of memorial to your pet. Make a small garden at your pet’s grave. Or, start a scrapbook of pictures of your pet, preferably including plenty of you two together. If you make jewelry, you can make an item that reminds you of your pet. You can include a picture, a tuft of fur or some of your pet’s cremated ashes in a tiny urn.
Most importantly, talk to God. I have asked Him for comfort, to help me accept my loss & even to tell my departed loved ones that I love & miss them. Not once has He said no or I shouldn’t do this, so I assume that means it’s ok. And, many times after asking that, I have had dreams about my loved ones. I don’t believe that the dead can technically enter our dreams, but I do believe that God gives us dreams about them when we need them. Maybe they ask Him to make that happen, I’m unsure, but in any case, those dreams can be very comforting & wonderful.
Although it may not seem like it right after losing your beloved pet, you will survive. In time, you will smile instead of cry once again when you think of your loved one. xoxo
Filed under Animals, Mental Health
After a couple of months of struggling & attempting to drive myself crazy, my new websites are now live!!
I’m going to guess there are still some bugs in there because I never seem to make a website without a bug or two once it goes live, but I’m working on fixing any & all bugs as soon as I’m aware of them. Please bear with me!
I added a lot of information about NPD to my site as well as other things such as some pictures. I enjoy photography even though I’m not particularly good at it, so I thought why not add some pictures? Beauty is always a nice distraction from NPD anyway…
Come check out my site at www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com
Don’t forget my companion website, www.TheButterflyProject.CynthiaBaileyRug.com
As I’ve mentioned a few times, I have a wonderful kitty by the name of Punkin who has feline PTSD. Here is his picture.. is he not incredibly handsome!?
A few months after adopting him in 2014, one morning out of the blue, he attacked our little American Eskimo dog, Dixie. She wasn’t even looking at him when he suddenly jumped her. My husband & I both hollered Punkin’s name, which got his attention fast. He looked almost as if he woke up. He looked at us & Dixie, then ran off & hid. We checked on Dixie & thankfully she was fine, just very shaken up. While consoling her, my husband & I talked about what happened, & I told him that the way Punkin looked reminded me of how I felt after a flashback. I knew animals could be traumatized of course, but I was unsure if it could develop into PTSD. I did some research & learned it absolutely can. Since I have C-PTSD, I felt somewhat equipped to deal with the situation. It’s been quite the learning experience to say the least! But, my husband & I have learned & I wanted to share it for you other cat parents out there in case you too have a traumatized furbaby on your hands.
In all fairness, I’m not positive how the symptoms show up in other animals, but I believe they’re rather similar. Our late dog, Bear, had been abused & once in a while he acted quite a bit like Punkin does. I believe he had a milder case of PTSD than Punkin has. That leads me to believe the symptoms are probably quite similar among animals, not just among cats.
PTSD symptoms in cats are quite similar to humans. They have an extremely sensitive startle reflex, so they sometimes react inappropriately to situations. If they get scared, fight or flight instincts may take over. Punkin tends to freeze- his pupils dilate & he won’t move. They can be very anxious too, which means they may be skittish, hide or potty outside the litter box. Separation anxiety can happen too. They’re hyper vigilant, always extremely aware of their surroundings. Getting angry easily can be another symptom. as can being depressed. Signs of depression can mean losing interest in things they normally enjoy such as food, playing or snuggles, They may have nightmares, which you can see by how they sleep. Most cats twitch a bit in their sleep, but a cat with PTSD will do so more often & violently. Another big clue is they avoid things that can be similar to the traumatic event. I believe due to how Punkin attacked Dixie his trauma was related to a dog. She was the only animal or person in our home he ever attacked. And yes, they can have flashbacks. If you haven’t seen someone have a flashback or if you don’t have them, it can be hard to identify. When Punkin has had them, he doesn’t look quite like himself. His eyes get huge & you see fear written all over his face. He also acts completely out of character, like when he attacked Dixie, then suddenly stops. The first time it happened, he hid for quite a while, but after that, he returns to normal in a few hours. They also make him very tired.
There are some ways to cope with feline PTSD that I have found to be pretty successful.
I talk to Punkin. I tell him I understand what he’s going through, & it stinks. It’ll be ok, though, there is no one or nothing here that will hurt him. He’s safe & surrounded by other cats & people who adore him.
I also follow his lead. Punkin is very loving, but not particularly snuggly. Sometimes when the PTSD flares up, he wants to be left alone & other times he wants me to hold him. I do whichever he wants.
When Punkin has bad days, I do my best to remain completely calm in his presence. Cats pick up on the energy of their humans, so if I’m calm, he’ll be calmer. I don’t tell him “calm down”. Instead, my energy says everything is fine, & there is nothing to be upset about.
Catnip is a life saver! I started giving it to him to try to help his anxiety levels. It didn’t take him long to learn that it helps, so he goes to it often & voluntarily when his symptoms flare up. I got some very soft, fuzzy socks from the dollar store for this purpose. I put some catnip in a small rag, tie it up, & put it in the sock. Punkin also likes jingle bells so I have some with bells inside, some without. He picks whatever he likes as he needs his ‘nip. Since it doesn’t work for dogs, I used to give Bear valerian root pills. The smell is very strong & it tastes pretty yukky, so it wasn’t easy to get him to take it at first. It didn’t take him long to realize that it helped though, so he began going to where I stored it to let me know when he needed some valerian.
Some pet parents also get tranquilizers for their pet from the vet or use other calming aids that are readily available.
If you too have a pet with PTSD, following these steps really can help. I’m happy to say that Bear turned into a very loving, gentle dog from an aggressive one & Punkin’s symptoms are managed very well. He rarely has flashbacks anymore, & his anxiety levels are much lower in general.
Filed under Animals, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
I have recently changed my website domain registration & hosting to a new company. It’s going through those changes as we speak. From what I see, it may take about a week for things to change then possibly add in more time for me to learn the new website building software & get it back up & running.
I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause! It’s unavoidable, though- my last website host & domain registrar went out of business without telling its customers. In order to make any changes to my site, I had to make a change. I really think it’s for the best though- this new company has no limits on how big my site can be or how many visitors it has each month! Pretty cool, really.. just the change that isn’t so cool.
Anyway hopefully within the next 1-2 weeks, my site will be back & better than before at www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com . Thank you, Dear Reader, for your understanding & patience! xoxo
I’ve noticed that many people think others should believe as they do. People really can be downright shaming if you don’t share their passions.
Quite a few years ago, I said something to one of my football watching aunts about the fact my husband likes football & I hate it, always have. She verbally jumped me for not trying harder to like it, & she also said I needed to watch games with him so we can enjoy football together. It was surprising to me because I wasn’t complaining or looking for some solution- I just made a simple statement. I also remember thinking, “I love knitting. I don’t see you scolding him & telling him he needs to learn to knit so we can buy yarn or knit together.” I wish I’d said that- it might have helped her to see how ludicrous & over the top her reaction was.
I’ve experienced similar reactions from people who are extremely focused on politics when they learn I’m not. In fact, the topic doesn’t interested me in the slightest. I also don’t have the desire in me to learn enough about candidates to make an informed decision on who to vote for, so I don’t vote. This apparently infuriates some people who are deeply interested in politics, & some have been downright shaming & nasty to me because of this. Not that I would do it, but it makes me want to be equally shaming & nasty to them for not helping to raise awareness of narcissistic abuse or help victims. It’d only be fair, after all, wouldn’t it?
I used to be upset by my aunt & the other people who were equally nasty to me. Then I realized something.
Not every cause can be your cause. People believe differently & have varied interests. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with one person & right with another because they think differently. It simply means they’re different.
There are many valid causes that need support, awareness & activists out there. No one can support them all though! That would leave no time for people to do anything else, like work or sleep. It’s much better to focus on what means the most to you than to spread yourself too thin by supporting many causes.
And, every person is unique, right down to our fingerprints & DNA. It is only natural that the causes we support & things that interest us also would be unique.
If you’re in the position of someone shaming you for not sharing their interests or supporting their causes, ignore them! They aren’t worth your frustration. They have no right to tell you what to think or how to feel. You do what is right for you. You have your own path to walk in life, & the approval of other people is NOT required to do it. What you do & what you believe in is ultimately between you & God, not you & other people.
If you’re actively in this situation, try changing the subject. A reasonable person will be fine with that. If the person isn’t reasonable, then you can tell them you don’t feel comfortable discussing this topic with them & if they continue, you’ll hang up the phone or leave the room. If they ask why, you can tell them the truth- because they are being disrespectful, nasty, etc. on this topic. If the person you’re speaking with is truly being obnoxious, you could try logic. Comments like, “Because you feel/believe that way means I should too? Why? Give me a good reason.” or, “That has never interested me, & I am well aware of that fact. Why should I do something I have zero interest in?” Statements like this can often shut a person down pretty quickly, because they realize how ridiculous their behavior is.
In conclusion, just remember there is nothing wrong with you for having the interests you have or not having the ones you don’t. God made you to be unique, so be unique & enjoy it!
