Since tomorrow is my 18th wedding anniversary, I thought I would share something I have learned about marriage.
Over the years, I have been criticized pretty harshly by a few people because I do not share a couple of my husband’s interests. He likes football, fishing (catch & release) & camping in a tent. Personally I would rather have a root canal than participate in or watch any of those. I really tried to like fishing. I’ve gone fishing a couple of times & found it boring, although being in nature was nice. After badly injuring the only fish I ever caught, I quickly decided I absolutely hate fishing. As for football? Nope. Never could stand any sport involving a ball. And tent camping?! Hahahahaha. No.
This left me feeling quite guilty for a long time. I felt like I was being a lousy wife for not finding some way to like these things or sucking it & up & participating no matter how miserable it would’ve made me. Then one day, some thoughts popped into my mind that set me free from that faulty thinking, & I’d like to share them with you.
I firmly believe successful couples share interests. My husband & I enjoy classic cars, drag racing, demo derbies, late model dirt track racing, antiques, Oktoberfests, pow wows, movies & much of the same music. These things are all fun for us to do together. We have plenty of interests to share, but we also have a few interests that don’t involve each other. I believe that is also important. A couple needs to be close of course, but they do not need to be so close that they lose themselves in the relationship! You should still maintain your individuality when you’re married. I enjoy crocheting, writing & photography but my husband couldn’t care less about them if he tried. This doesn’t offend me at all! If he’d like to try them, I’d be glad to help him get started of course, but I doubt that day will happen. There is nothing wrong with that.
I also think if your significant other has an interest that you never tried, you should at least give it a whirl unless you are 110% certain you won’t like it. My husband was deep into Nascar when we first got together. I wasn’t. I started watching races with him & quickly developed an interest in it. As it has changed after one of our favorite drivers died, we both lost interest in it, but there were many Sundays we spent watching races together & having fun.
If you would like to share a common interest but one of you is not thrilled with the interest, see if you can find a compromise. Since I refuse to sleep in a tent, I have suggested we get a camper or RV one day when we can afford it. Hubby can sleep in a tent if he likes, but I’ll be inside a nice, clean camper with plumbing & electric, the way I believe God intended me to live. lol Or, if he wants me to go fishing with him, don’t expect me to fish. Let me take a crochet project along & just enjoy being outside & talking with him while he fishes. There are plenty of ways to compromise things if you think about it.