Talking About Narcissism

“If I were to remain silent, I’d be guilty of complicity.”
― Albert Einstein


Silence is a narcissistic abuser’s best friend.  Silence not only allows abusers to continue to abuse, it basically encourages them to abuse.  When abusers don’t have consequences or anyone saying, “What you’re doing is wrong”, what motivation could they possibly have for changing their behavior?


By silence, I am not only referring to the silence of the victim, but others as well.   If the child of one of your relatives is being abused, but no one speaks up, the abuse will most certainly continue.  If no one gets involved, why should the abuser stop abusing?  The abuser is getting what he or she wants, which is all that matters to that person.  There is no motivation to stop abusing.


Some people may find this speaking out to be immature, holding a grudge or even “un-Christian”  behavior, but it really isn’t.  Ephesians 5:11 says,   “Take no part in the worthless pleasures of evil and darkness, but instead, rebuke and expose them.”  (TLB)  


Narcissism must be rebuked & exposed!  Allowing narcissists to continue to abuse their victims without consequences does no one any good whatsoever!  Abusers continue to hurt people & victims continue to suffer so long as no one speaks out.


As victims, we must speak out about our experiences.  Other victims need to know that they aren’t alone, they aren’t crazy or to blame for the abuse as their abusers have told them they are & that there is life after narcissistic abuse.  They also need to know ways to cope with a narcissist if they are unable or unwilling to be no contact & no one but another victim can share successful ways to do that.


If you aren’t a victim, however, but you know someone who is, you’re not off the hook!  If you know someone who is being abused, support & help that person however you can.  Listen, offer advice if that person asks for it, pray for & with that person & even learn about NPD.


And, everyone must understand what narcissistic abuse & NPD really are.  The meaning of the word “narcissism” has been so tainted.  Many people think being narcissistic is the same thing as being selfish when in fact, it is so very much more than simple selfishness.  The true meaning of narcissism is so diluted & that needs to change!  Raising awareness by talking about narcissistic abuse & NPD openly will help to make that change.


So remember, Dear Reader- speak out about narcissistic abuse!  Help to raise awareness!  Help victims!


Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

36 responses to “Talking About Narcissism

  1. jarwithaheavylid

    Unfortunately sometimes it’s best to remain silent so they and their flying monkeys leave you and your children alone.


    • Sometimes that is the truth. Each situation is unique. But if we can speak out safely, we have to. The meaning of narcissism is so watered down! People think it means someone who’s selfish when it’s so much more. By thinking this, victims are discredited, invalidated, mocked.. it’s not right!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. As a child, I was unaware I was being abused, so I suppose it was quite natural for me to end up with a dangerous man. It took many years after fleeing from this being, to find my voice by writing my autobiography and now blogs. The flood gates of revelation are forever opened, and I pour out the ugly for all to witness. In fact, it is difficult not to expound on the horrors strewn on my journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I saw a new doctor recently. She asked me about stress in my life that could be affecting my health. In the past I’d just acknowledge that yes, I did have some things going on that were stressful but I didn’t go into detail. This time I found myself telling her about specific things my NM and her enablers are doing now to hurt me. I don’t know what difference, if any, this will make in my treatment. But it was the first time I’d gone into detail when asked this question and that was a milestone for me.


    • It takes courage to open up to someone about your experiences when you don’t know how they’ll react. Whether or not this will affect your treatment, I think you should be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there like that. Hopefully though your doctor will understand the level of stress & be able to help you

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such a good article. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t think anybody just googles narcissism, until they encounter somebody who has personal experience of this who mentions the term. The most important step is when somebody first mentions the term to us. This then opens the door so we can do the research. This is the next step in my view-making this absolutely mainstream. i had been trying to find out what was going on for years but it was somebody mentioning the term NPD which set me on the road to recovery. I wonder if we need more articles that simply state things like-Is the person in your life a selfish, manipulative **??
    Mind you I am not sure I would have believed all this until I was absolutely
    ready. Nobody wants to believe that somebody close to them can deliberately set out to harm them. I know I didn’t…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree.. that’s why I wrote a book about NPD a couple years ago for people who don’t want to hear “psycho babble” but realize there are some overly selfish, entitled people in their lives. My hope was to introduce them gently to NPD & help them see NPD is a real thing

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The other thing is many who have dealt with people on the narcissistic spectrum can become totally sceptical of psychologists and psychology. when we have watched the toxic person repeatedly fool them.(psychologists etc). It can be very traumatising.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That is absolutely true!! My mother conned one therapist I saw as a teen & it ended up with that woman telling me she couldn’t see me anymore because “I was a terrible daughter.” Unreal… now it just ticks me off but at the time it was very traumatic.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. That is so awful. As hard as it has been for me, at least I was an adult. Children and young people must suffer like this all the time. So sorry you went through that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I found out that the reason my mother stopped seeing this therapist is she was disbarred for failure to report child abuse. Not much of a surprise for me.

      I have no doubt they do. I really mean no offense to therapists at all by saying this since there are many excellent ones, but there are many with as many issues as their clients or more who are easily fooled by narcissists.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. 🙌 Amen! And for that exact reason is why I continue to share my experiences. Had it not been for those courageous survivors who shared their experiences, I would have continued believing I was going insane. So, thank you for being one of the courageous people. 🌻💕

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Reblogged this on SURVIVING THE UNHINGED & CLAN and commented:
    I couldn’t agree more. One of the reasons why I have been so open and vocal and providing detail of what it was like is because he’s continuing to smear me, calling me unhealthy and unstable, and insinuating I am lying about the night he threw me against the wall.

    I was silent for a very long time. I was muzzled, and yes, I do have a chip on my shoulder because I am dealing with the injuries he caused every day now for 14 months. It’s been a hardship on me and my kids while he’s out drinking, cycling, traveling and dating. I’m sure he had something before we ended – He denies it but there were signs. Taking a million selfies – I wasn’t getting them. Disappearing for hours. I hope whoever she is doesn’t fall for his empty words. He’ll destroy her…


  10. Thank you for this post! I am at the center of the NPD’s destructive tactics and by grace continue on the path of freedom. Without community support of any kind I can attest that hope is real.


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  14. Thanks for focusing on helping others rather than simply telling off the abuser. I’m currently in a precarious financial situation and I have to appease my abuser for now. Wish I could speak up to them, but it just isn’t possible right now. :/ However, I CAN help others!


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