Most of the victims of narcissistic abuse I have spoken with are devoted animal lovers. I’m one too. My pets, past & present, mean the world to me. I also love other animals that aren’t my pets.
It won’t be a surprise if you know anything about narcissists, but they aren’t the same way. Even ones that claim to love animals really don’t love them because narcissists don’t know how to genuinely love.
Animals are nothing but potential supply to narcissists. I realized that with my parents. When they would visit my home & if any of my pets paid them attention, they were happy. If one didn’t want their attention, that one was criticized harshly. Not only when the incident happened, but after the incident indefinitely. I adopted Magic, my first cat, just before Halloween, 1990. I took him to my parents’ house shortly after to introduce them to him. My mother decided to pick Magic up, even after I said he only likes me to hold him. Magic scratched her so she would put him down, which she did quickly. Until my mother & I stopped speaking in 2016, she mentioned Magic negatively from time to time even though he died in 2007.
If you have a narcissist in your life & pets, as that pet parent, it’s your job to protect your pet from the narcissist.
If the narcissist in your life is physically abusive to you, chances are good your pet will be abused too. If you can escape, do it! If you can’t just yet, try finding a home for your pet until you can escape. If your pet has been hurt, document everything! Take pictures, have a copy of his or her veterinary record. Documentation of bad behavior is always a good thing. Even if it isn’t illegal (like if your state doesn’t have strict animal abuse laws), document anyway. If your narcissist breaks the law, it can help your case to have proof of bad behavior, even when it’s not illegal.
If the narcissist is verbally & emotionally abusive, remember- animals understand what people say. I have no doubt of this at all. I’ve seen too much evidence proving they do. When my parents would upset me, there were always at least two of my cats there to distract them. Chester & Valentine in particular are very sweet cats, but very protective of me. When my parents came to my home, they would sit by them. Each time they said something upsetting to me, the cats would scratch or bite my parents’ hands. Every. Single. Time.
Also, my parents would say cruel & hurtful things to my pets. It hurt their feelings! Poor Chester was called fat more times than I can count. He’s a muscular cat & very solid, but at first glance he does look kinda chubby. I told my parents no more nasty comments to the pets or they aren’t allowed in my home. My mother wouldn’t visit my home for I think it was almost 2 years after that.
Whatever the narcissist in your life does with your pet, protect him or her! It’s your job as the parent! Proverbs 12:10 says, ” A righteous man has kind regard for the life of his animal, But even the compassion of the wicked is cruel.” (AMP) It can be hard to stand up to a narcissist, I know, but you must protect your pet. As always, when you talk to the narcissist about it, do so calmly & in a simple, matter of fact way. Any emotions you should could be narcissistic supply & something the narcissist would use to hurt you again later. As an example, telling my parents not to insult my pets, I calmly said “I won’t tolerate anyone coming into their home & talking badly to them. If you do it again, you won’t be allowed back here.” My father never said a word back to me on the topic & didn’t insult them again. My mother defended herself vehemently, stayed away for a long time after that conversation & behaved much better when she finally did return to my home.