Turning The Other Cheek

I noticed some interesting things when reading Matthew 5:38-39 in the Amplified translation of the Bible recently.  The verses say, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth [punishment that fits the offense].’ 39 But I say to you, do not resist an evil person [who insults you or violates your rights]; but whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other toward him also [simply ignore insignificant insults or trivial losses and do not bother to retaliate—maintain your dignity, your self-respect, your poise].”  The first interesting part was the definition of evil person.  It says someone “who insults you or violates your rights.”  That sounds like a narcissist to me.  After all, they live to be insulting & violate the rights of others.  It’s what they do & do so well.

I also like the next part of that verse that describes what turning the other cheek really means.  That was the second interesting thing I noticed.  That part of verse 39 says,  “Simply ignore insignificant insults or trivial losses, & do not bother to retaliate – maintain your dignity, your self-respect, your poise.”  That perfectly describes the Gray Rock Method!  It provides no narcissistic supply while you maintain your composure.  Narcissists can’t stand that!  They absolutely hate it, but there is nothing they can do about it without looking foolish.  This means they will leave you alone.

Like I’ve said many times in my work, it’s impossible to avoid narcissists.  They’re everywhere.  Even when we remove them from our lives, chances are excellent that others will pop up.  Hopefully only in passing, like maybe a cashier or repairman.  But, sometimes they pop up in other, closer relationships no matter how hard we try to avoid them.  A close friend starts dating a narcissist, or that new coworker is a narcissist.  In such situations, there is no escape.  The best that you can do is find ways to deal with that person.  The healthier you get, the more narcissists hate you, which may make the situation even more challenging for a while.  They see you as a threat because you can see what’s behind their masks & you don’t fall for their manipulation.  At some point though they will get bored with you & avoid you as much as possible.

In those situations, the best thing you can do is remember what the Bible says.  People who insult you & ignore your rights are evil in God’s eyes.  That is very clear in the verses from Matthew!  That means you need to protect youself from these people. 

Also, don’t forget the rest of the verse gives excellent advice in dealing with such people.  Ignore them.  Act like you didn’t even notice their cruel words or actions.  Don’t allow them to manipulate you or give them any praise.  Become boring to them, in other words.  This deprives people like this of narcissistic supply.  The more you deprive a narcissist of supply, the less that narcissist will want to do with you.  You are a waste of their time at this point.  They prefer to focus on people that will provide them with that narcissistic supply they crave so desperately.  Be as boring as possible to the narcissists in your life.  Doing so will keep you safe from their abuse.


Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Narcissism

7 responses to “Turning The Other Cheek

  1. I already loved reading the Amplified Bible online. But now, after seeing the Amplified version of Matthew 5:38-39, I’m going to order a copy of this Bible from Amazon, as soon as I finish writing this comment.

    I love the Gray Rock method, too. I used that method when I was at a family wedding a couple of years ago. There were three narcissists at that wedding, one that I had been married to back in the 1980s. That one is probably more of a sociopath than just a narcissist. At the wedding, he planted himself and his narcissistic wife at the big round table that I was already sitting at. He sat himself down directly across from me, and proceeded to talk loudly to everyone in the vicinity. Three of my grandchildren were already sitting beside me, so I just kept my focus on them and gray rocked the ex and the other two narcissists all throughout that day. From the corner of my eye, I could see how crazy it was making them, lol!!

    This September, my youngest son is getting married, yaaay. (I love his sweet fiancee.) This same abusive ex will be there, as he is my youngest son’s father. Which means his narcissistic wife will be there, too. I’m going to Gray Rock them right out of their minds!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • HAHAHAHAHAA!!! It had to be so funny watching them lose their minds over the Gray Rock! Gotta love it! I used to do that with my mother in-aw, watching her get more & more frazzled by my ignoring her. It got downright FUNNY sometimes! She clearly knew if she showed her anger, she’d look foolish but she wanted to so badly I thought her head might explode.. lol

      Please share what happens at the wedding in September! This could be good.. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh wow, I just went to BibleGateway and looked these verses up — because I wanted to compare them with the Amplified Classic, which I already own — and the newer Amplified has a footnote that makes it even clearer. Here it is:

    Matthew 5:38-39
    Amplified Bible

    38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth [punishment that fits the offense].’ 39 But I say to you, do not resist an evil person [who insults you or violates your rights]; but whoever [a]slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other toward him also [simply ignore insignificant insults or trivial losses and do not bother to retaliate—maintain your dignity, your self-respect, your poise].

    a. Matthew 5:39 In this context the “slap” is not an act of violence, but more likely an insult or violation of one’s rights.

    Isn’t that awesome! Okay, I am going to Amazon to buy the newer version, which is much clearer than the Classic.


  3. Pingback: Turning The Other Cheek – Talmidimblogging

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