For Anyone Considering Writing About Narcissism

Since I began writing about narcissism, surviving narcissistic abuse & the awful effects on its victims, some people have told me I need to focus on writing about lighter, more pleasant topics.  It’s too negative.  People need to think about positive things, not just the negative.  I only write about what I do because I’m wallowing in the past.  I need to forget it & move on.

The truth is, I do agree with the fact that people need to focus on positive things, not just the negative.  That is all I agree with in the above statements however.

In all honesty, writing about narcissism isn’t easy.  I’m often learning something new, & it can be depressing just how pervasive narcissism & narcissistic abuse are.  I get tired of it all.  It’s a very emotionally draining topic & can be triggering for my C-PTSD.  I have to take time to deliberately refuse to focus on it to help me not to get mired down in the depressing negativity that is narcissism.

That being said, I don’t plan to quit anytime soon.

For one thing, I believe God wants me to write about this topic.  He has given me the ability to write & also to understand quite a lot about narcissism.  Not that I know everything on the topic of course- I don’t think anyone does- but I do know a lot.  My personal experiences have taught me a great deal as well as things I have read.

For another thing, when someone thanks me for teaching them something they’ve been searching for an answer for, it is incredibly rewarding.

It’s also rewarding to let people know they aren’t alone.  Since narcissistic abuse makes its victims feel so alone, learning they aren’t is a really big deal!

There is nothing more rewarding than knowing you helped to improve someone’s life.  That alone makes it all worth while!

And, in all honesty, writing helps me as well.  I’m finally validated!  Seeing things in writing somehow helps me to realize that what happened to me was real, & it was terrible.  It makes it more real than just remembering things, probably since I dissociated so much as a child.  It also helps validate me when people believe me & offer support & understanding.  That almost never happened until I started writing.  So please forgive my selfish motive but I need this validation!

If you are considering writing about your experiences with narcissistic abuse, just know it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it!

Remember that if you opt to write about it, narcissism is a terribly negative topic.  You will need to counter the negativity with positive.  Indulge in things you enjoy often, such as a favorite hobby.

Do nice things for yourself to reward yourself after writing.  Even a short blog post like this one can be surprisingly draining sometimes- reward yourself for putting forth the effort.

Make time where you flatly refuse to think about NPD or anything related to it.  Deliberately focus on something else.  Anything else.

If you opt to write a blog, write posts in advance & schedule them to publish without your assistance.  That way, if you feel inspired, you can write several posts at once, or if you feel uninspired, you can take a break.  Your blog will post anyway.  I have a lot of posts ready to go- over 3 months into the future.

Don’t feel bad for taking frequent breaks.  It’s good for your mental health!

If you choose to write a book, be forewarned- that is much more challenging than writing in a blog.  Blog posts are usually short which makes them easier to handle.  Writing a full book, however is different.  Chances are, you’ll go on a bender & end up writing a lot in one sitting, probably often, which will exhaust you.  You may plan to write for only half an hour but end up spending your afternoon in front of the computer.  Trust me on this one- been there, done that!  Writing a book about narcissism, especially if it is about your personal experiences, is an emotional roller coaster.

So if you are considering writing about narcissism, I strongly urge you to pray about it.  Ask God if this is the route He wants you to take, how He wants you to write (blog, books, etc) & if it is, to enable you to do it.  Ask for strength, courage & wisdom, because you will need all three & more.



Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism, Welcome To My Blog!, Writing

8 responses to “For Anyone Considering Writing About Narcissism

  1. Felicity

    Many of your posts resonate and I am extremely grateful for your continued explorations.
    I often read them in bed and show them to my supportive and aware husband.
    He printed out the recent contribution about “responsibility” suggesting that I read it each morning.
    My narcissistic mother is now 93 and currently in hospital but she hasn’t lost her fire.
    As a grandmother now, I am only recently establishing boundaries.
    My entire life I have been seeking approval and making huge efforts to please her. At this stage of life, I realise that so many of my “friends” are similar to her, and I am finally terminating these toxic ties.

    Thank you Cynthia.


    • Felicity, thank you so very much for what you shared. It’s comments like this that make writing about narcissism worth it, no matter how hard it gets.

      Good for you establishing boundaries & ending toxic relationships! It’s never to late to do so! It sounds like you’re on the right path, & I pray God continues to guide your steps. ❤


  2. For most of my life I felt like no one understood me and what I’ve gone through and still go through. I’ve felt utterly alone so much. Reading and connecting with others here in the blogosphere has really helped me feel connected and less alone…and understood to a degree. I think that is valuable. I worry too that writing exclusively about narcissism is too depressing for my readers but I think we all come here to commiserate and bond over a shared life experience and to heal through each other’s experiences and insights. I enjoy your blog a lot. Don’t listen to those who don’t have the stomach for the truth that we all need to hear and speak. We’ve been silenced too long. Let it all out. If it’s too much, we can come back when we can handle it.


    • It’s kinda strange isn’t it? There are so many of us yet it seems like every one of us feels alone in our experiences.

      That’s true.. we do come to blogs like these to commiserate. bond & learn. Even so though, I think we need breaks on the topic too sometimes, which is why I veer off onto other topics periodically.

      Thank you for the encouragement. You’re so right on that- we have been silenced for too long! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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