Why Do Some People Defend Narcissists Rather Than Their Victims?

My mind wanders…a lot.  Today, it wandered to something I’ve wondered about off & on for years.

Why is it that when a narcissist hurts someone, most people close to the narcissist & her victim are quick to defend the narcissist rather than the victim?   Have you noticed this?  People say you need to understand your narcissistic mother, be more patient with her, realize she was abused as a child, don’t forget- she’s the only mother you’ll ever have & she won’t be around forever, or a plethora of other reasons you should give her a free pass to abuse you.  In fact, when I was seventeen & my mother’s abuse of me was at its peak, one of her friends (a school principal, by the way!) scolded me for giving my mother so much trouble, & for not appreciating how much my mother loved me.  She claimed my mother did everything she did out of love for me.  And, it isn’t just with a narcissistic  mother this type of thing happens – I went through this with my narcissistic mother in-law as well, like so very many other frustrated daughters in-law.  When my husband’s mother told me how ‘stupid’ my grandfather was (she never met him), or would criticize me, my family, my pets, my car, etc., my husband told me I needed to understand her, or that she simply didn’t know any better.  His sisters have not once in the almost twenty years of our relationship acknowledged their mother mistreated me.  They, too, don’t believe how devious their mother can be, instead believing her to be only sweet & naive.

Why does this happen?  Are people afraid of a narcissistic rage if they disagree with the narcissist?  Do survival instincts kick in, & people look to placate the more dangerous person for their own protection, while ignoring the fact the safer person has been mistreated?   Or, is it something about the victim that says, “Sure, it’s ok- I don’t matter.  It’s fine to treat me any old way you like!”  After all, when you’ve been the victim of a narcissist, you are accustomed to being mistreated.  Maybe some people unconsciously pick up on that, & assume you don’t object to how you’re being treated.  Or, could they see you as the stronger, healthier person, more able to be the mature one in this situation?  Whatever the reason or reasons, it is so wrong!  God doesn’t defend abuse, & neither should anyone else!  True, Godly love wants what is best for people, & abuse isn’t in anyone’s best interest!  Not the innocent victim, nor the abusive person, determined to inflict pain.  What is best for everyone is to treat each other with gentleness, love, understanding, wisdom & patience

Psychology fascinates me, so I can’t help wondering about this.  What do you think?  I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this topic.

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42 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Mental Health, Narcissism

42 responses to “Why Do Some People Defend Narcissists Rather Than Their Victims?

  1. I understand what you’re saying and I see this happening all the time. I think people just keep quiet about it because a narcissist is after all a narcissist. Nothing anyone can say or do is going to change this persons behaviors because everything is about them and they can do no wrong, in their eyes. People probably just figure, why waste my breath.:)
    Peace,
    Tammy

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    • That makes sense..maddening as it is! lol
      Take care,
      Cynthia

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      • It sure is. LOL I’m pretty sure everyone knows at least one narcissist. Lucky Devils. LOL sure glad it’s not me because I’m enough other things. Have a good day. Peace,
        Tammy 🙂

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        • Oh yea.. really lucky.. LOL 🙂 Hope you have a good day too, Tammy.

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          • Other than the fact that I’ve been awake for 29 hours straight now because I cannot breathe and spent last night in the ER until 6:00 a.m. this morning and still can’t sleep. today’s my daughters birthday and I have got to get some sleep because I’m supposed to be cooking her birthday dinner for her and the herd and having company. I ought to be sound asleep right about then, yep everything is going just great! LOL I always ruin everything. They ought to be used to it by now………………………………………..Sure hope your day is a good one. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it, and today you’re it! LOL 🙂

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    • You have been up for 29 hours & had an ER trip & you’re still coherant?! How do you do it?! I would be a blabbering idiot.. lol I hope you feel better soon & can get some rest! & wishing your daughter a very happy birthday too! How old is she?

      Don’t you think you’re being hard on yourself about you “always ruining everything”?? Somehow I doubt that is true.. take care of yourself, Tammy, & sending you a big hug!

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      • Well, I ended up being awake for 41 hours straight. I would have to say I was only partially coherent and I wasn’t being very nice at this point. My oldest daughter and my hubby got the dinner and cake all taken care of, company arrived, and everything went well, while I was upstairs in my bed attempting to sleep because I was not fit to be around anyone by this time. She is now 22 and she came up to see me and it was quite obvious I was very sick and very sleep deprived and she understood and the party went on. Everything turned out just fine.
        I feel like I’m always ruining everything because I’m just not able to do what I used to do and I’m not at an age where I should be like this yet. I want to do things and I make plans to do things, and then it seems to never work out and I feel like I let a lot of people down, that’s how I feel I ruin everything all the time. Good thing I have 3 great therapists to knock some sense in to me, or at least they try. Sometimes I’m cooperative and others, not so much. just the way life is when you’re sick like this and I hate every moment of it and pray that all this therapy and such will help me get to a better place emotionally so I can enjoy life more and learn to not be so hard on myself. Thank you for that big hug, I really needed that. Have a great day. I’m now going to be awake all night as it’s already 2:23 a.m., I’m wide awake and I have to get up at 7;00 a.m for an appointment and then straight to a friends house to occupy her couch for the day. Wonder how many hours I’ll be awake this time. Lord! LOL:)
        Peace and hugs,
        Tammy:)

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    • Oh my! 41 hours straight?! That is crazy! I’m so sorry Sweetie! I understand how you feel about ruining things- I feel the same way. But please don’t be so hard on yourself. You can’t help it. You aren’t trying to be difficult or hurt people. I’m praying for you.. ((((more hugs))))

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      • Yes, 41 hours straight, therefore I copped quite the attitude. LOL I finally went to sleep for 17 hours and then was awake until 5:00 a.m. this morning and had to get up at 7:00 a.m. for an appointment and then I went and spent the day on a friends couch all day, going on 2 hours of sleep. I sure hope that sandman doesn’t pass me by tonight, I’ve got to get this sleep situation straightened out. I can’t go on like this. But then I do have CFS so it really doesn’t matter how much sleep I get because I never feel refreshed. I’m tired regardless of how much sleep I get. Thanks for the prayers and hugs, much appreciated. Hope you had a great day.
        Peace and hugs,
        Tammy:)

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    • Wow.. that is awful. I’m so sorry about the CFS. Do you take anything to help you sleep? Can you change to something else? Or does nothing help?
      God bless you!

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      • I do take something for sleep and pain, and even with those together, I’m unable to sleep. Nothing really helps. I’ve tried many different things in the past. It’s now 3:23 p.m. and I’m now feeling like I might be able to sleep. Have a good weekend.:)

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        • Aww..that must be so frustrating for you!! I have sleep problems too, but at least sleeping pills help some. Take care, Sweetie & I hope you have a great weekend.

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          • Yes, not being able to sleep when you are so damn tired and can’t even barely hold your eyes open, but for some reason you can’t sleep. Grrrrrr……………very frustrating to say the least. And, if you have sleep problems, then you know what happens after awhile if you get no sleep. Not having such a great weekend, but now I’ve had to add Prednisone to my handful of poison I take every day and night. Don’t know if you’ve ever had to be on steroids, but let me tell ya, me and steroids do NOT get along, but I’ve been sick with bronchitis and this asthma ever since Jan. 6th and I must get over this. The doctor said if I’m not better by the beginning of next week I’m going to have to go in to the office. Sigh……………………so sick of doctors. Happy Easter, if you partake in that, and if not, happy Sunday and hope you have a great day.
            Peace,
            Tammy:)

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    • Absolutely sleep problems are so frustrating!
      I haven’t taken steroids before, but I have heard bad things about them. I’m so sorry you have to take them now too. I can’t believe you’ve had bronchitis since January! That is a long time! Hopefully you can get over it soon!
      Wishing you a happy Easter too! Hope you can enjoy your day! ❤

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      • If it weren’t the Prednisone, it would just be insomnia. LOL sucks, but I’m used to it. Even if I sleep, I never feel refreshed anyway because of the CFS. yeah, you never want to take Prednisone unless you absolutely have to, but it is kind of a cure all for a lot of things. It’s definitely a life saving medication. My father in law said he had bronchitis for a long time this year and his doctor told him there was a really bad strain of bronchitis going around this year, so who knows, but I’m about over this crap. This better be the last round of this stuff I have to take. Not being able to breathe is kind of a scary thing.
        Hope you had a nice Easter day. Take care.
        Peace,
        Tammy:)

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    • It’s so odd- I’ve had many cats need prednizone over the years & they didn’t have one problem from it. People though? Wow.. I truly hope you are able to kick this bronchitis thing soon!
      Thank you.. I hope your Easter was a nice day too. & have a great week!

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      • Sure glad your cats didn’t have a problem with it. I can’t imagine a bunch of cats running around on Prednisone. LOL Just hope you never need it, it’s the devil in a bottle, as I call it and I just wrote a post about it.
        Glad you had a nice Easter. I missed the whole thing because I was awake until 8:00 a.m. All my kids went ahead and went to my mom’s. Hubby stayed here with me. He was tired too, and I don’t think he wanted to leave me here alone having trouble breathing, even though I did sleep until 5:00 p.m. and had to do a breathing treatment pretty much after I woke up.
        But, my father in law was so kind to bring over a ham, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, pasta salad, cake, and who knows what all, on Saturday. I think he did that because he saw me on the 15th for my daughters birthday because he came up stairs to see me and I could not stop coughing and he told hubby to take me back to the hospital, but I refused because they didn’t do much the night before. I’m still coughing like crazy and I know I’m going to have to go back to the doctor tomorrow or Wednesday. She said if I wasn’t a lot better by the beginning of this week, to get into her office. Crazy stuff!
        Hope you had a “good” day today, my friend.:)
        Peace and hugs,
        Tammy:)

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    • That was so sweet of your father in-law bringing over goodies for you! He must be a very nice man. I hope you get in to see your doctor very soon! This is ridiculous how long you’ve been sick!
      Hope you have a good week! ❤

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      • Yes, very nice man he is. I should be swelled up like a balloon any day now from eating ham every day, as I would hate for it to go to waste after all he did for us. I’m going to call the doctor right now and see if they can get me in tomorrow because we’re going on a little one night away to a B & B on Thursday. Very relaxing and peaceful. Really looking forward to it and it would be nice if I didn’t still feel like this. We’ve decided that since we never go out, because I can’t, that we’ll just go to different B & B’s like once every other month. We have very many to chose from that are within anywhere to under an hour away up to a few hours away.
        Hope your day is being good to you and you enjoy the rest of your week, as well.
        Peace,
        Tammy:)

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        • You’re very blessed to have him. :-). Were you able to make an appointment for tomorrow? Have a great time at the b&b!! Sounds like a lovely idea, visiting them. Thank you..I’m trying to relax & enjoy my week. After losing one of my kitties last Wednesday & my aunt Sunday, it’s pretty rough though

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          • Awwww. so sorry about you aunt and kitty. That is a very rough week. I love my dog like one of my kids. I’m very, very sorry about your losses. HUGS I know there are no words to make it better, but I can send you sunshine and great big HUGS. I called my doctor and they can’t get me in now until Thursday at 8:30 a.m. I’m doing a breathing treatment as I’m typing this. It’s worse first thing in the morning and in the early evening it starts in and lasts for quite awhile. Hopefully, I’ll feel better tomorrow and won’t have to go to that appointment or I’ll end up in the damn ER again. Kinda got breathe, ya know. Do you have a husband or kids? I hope you have someone to get through this rough time with. I’ll try to have a great time at the B & B this one has a lot of stuff outside on the grounds there, but if I can’t breathe I’ll have to stay in, oh well, it will still be nice to get away. I can stay in there, just like I do here only it’ll be different scenery and it will be peaceful. No kids, no dogs, no babies. I know that sounds bad, but everyone needs peace and it’s just for one night. Helps me keep my sanity. I hope you can feel better soon and once again, I am so awful sorry. sunshine and HUGS coming your way. hang in there.
            Peace,
            Tammy

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    • Thank you so much. So true- nothing can make things better right now, but I know this dark time won’t last forever. In the meantime, hubby & my 8 cats & 1 dog are here. The pets are so awesome.. they offer so much love, & when I’m not feeling cuddly, they act goofy & make me laugh. Not sure what I’d do without my furbabies. Like you, I love them like they’re my children. 🙂
      I sure hope you get better & can cancel the dr. appointment Thursday! Besides, the b&b sounds so nice, you have to feel better so you can enjoy that thoroughly! I don’t think that sounds awful at all.. I love my husband & furkids, but I need time away from them too sometimes. & they feel the same way about me, I’m sure. Alone time can be a wonderful thing!
      Thank you again, Sweetie! & I’m praying for a speedy recovery for you! ❤

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      • Good morning Cynthia. I’ve been awake all night, not even a wink. Lucifer is still in full force, but you know my plans for him. I’ve got to leave in 10 minutes to leave in 10 minutes for my eye doctor appointment. I went in a month ago because I was having floaters in my peripheral vision and discovered that I have a post vitreous detachment and that’s attached to the retina and if my retina becomes detached that won’t be good. I could go blind in my right eye. That’s all I need is to go blind. My doctor did say it’s very common and happens to a lot of people and that he’s already had it happen in both his eyes and he’s maybe barely 30. We just need to keep an eye, no pun intended, on it because if it does detach and we catch it, I can have emergency surgery to save my eyesight, but that’s NOT gonna happen. I think I already have my fair share of issues. I’ll pass on going blind.
        I’m not breathing well this morning and really need a breathing treatment but don’t have time to do it before I go, but I did use my inhaler and I’ll take it with me. Hope I’m not coughing up a lung right in the doctors face, you know how close they get to your face. Wish me luck. Thanks in advance.
        I’m really looking forward to going away tomorrow for our night away. It’s gonna be awesome. If we have to stay inside, so be it. I’ll tell you all about it when we get back, sounds like they have a lot of fun things right there on the grounds, acres. Well, I might not tell you EVERYTHING, but most. LOL have you and hubby ever had the B & B experience? If not, you should sure check into it. They are everywhere. I never realized how many are so close to us. I pray you can find some happiness in today and you begin to feel better real soon. Sunshine and great big HUGS coming your way. Take care and I look forward to talking with you some more. I really enjoy our conversations. I do wish some of them were a little more pleasant, but we can just help each other get through the rough patches that will keep on happening, just a part of life. So, have a good day, best you can. You take all the time you need to grieve. Grieving is not a sign of weakness, as some people seem to think. I don’t thing you are that way. Gotta shut down for now, but I’ll be back on when I get back from the eye doctor.:)
        Peace and hugs,
        Tammy:) 😦 not sure……………………..

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    • Good morning, Tammy!
      Oh wow.. how scary! I pray your eyes are healed! Yes, you have had your fair share of issues & going blind isn’t an option!
      How did things go at the doctor?
      Have a wonderful time at the B&B! LOL Yea.. you don’t have to share ALL the details. 😉 But I hope you have a lovely time & can relax & enjoy yourselves.
      No, hubby & I haven’t done a B&B. In 2011, one of our cats was diagnosed with diabetes- insulin shots every 12 hours. So, traveling, even overnight, is out of the question. I’m a homebody so I’m fine with that.
      Thank you- I appreciate your kind words. I agree- grieving isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign you love someone who passed away. Big difference!
      I’ve enjoyed chatting with you too! Feel free to email me if you like- CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com.
      Take care! Hugs to you!

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      • Hi Cynthia, I hope you are feeling at least a little better and if not, that’s okay, you will in time. I promise. Let’s see, I went to the eye doctor and he said there were no real changes and that I don’t have to go back unless anything changes and he said I can expect the same thing to happen to my other eye within the next 6-12 months. Isn’t that just great?! I also went back to my primary care doctor for the bronchitis and she said I have some congestion in my upper right lobe. She said I could stop the Prednisone, thank you Jesus! She gave me a sample of a different inhaler, a preventative one that does have steroids in it, but inhaled steroids aren’t like oral steroids. She said more antibiotics aren’t going to do any good and she set me up with an appointment to see a pulmonologist on May 6th.
        I have another friend whose cat was just diagnosed with diabetes and she’s having to give him insulin shots, as well. So sorry about that, that must be hard and then never being able to get away. The B & B experience is just so fun because they are all different and the hospitality out of this world. You’re treated like a king and queen. Hotels are all pretty much the same, ya know what I mean? Well, we went and had a great time acting like a couple of teenagers left home alone. We were the only one’s there since it was during the week, so we had the whole mansion to ourselves. Of course, the owners were there in their room on a different floor. Now, we don’t drink much because my medical conditions make that hard to do. Occasionally, we’ll drink a little wine, ok maybe a lot of wine, anyway, we took some of that wine in a box with us and like a couple of idiots bought some stuff called After Shock and needless to say we drank a lot and I mean a lot. That was not our intention, but that After Shock does that to you, just makes you want more and more. Let me just tell you something, it will be a long, long time before either of us even thinks about drinking again. We snuck down into the basement to snoop around in the middle of the night. LOL the last B & B we went to we snuck up into the attic. That’s what I mean by acting like a couple of teenagers left home alone. Drunk and getting into mischief. Oh my! They had different dinner options available or you could go to a restaurant if you wanted. We chose the picnic basket dinner. I thought that was the most romantic and we weren’t going to spend 90.00 or 135.00 on the other 2 options, one was a 3 course meal in a private dining room, and the other was a 6 course meal in the private dining room. I can’t even eat a one course meal on most days. It had rained and was chilly outside by dinner time and I figured with this breathing situation it would be best to stay inside, so we just had a picnic in our room. It was nice. It was chicken tenders, baked. Not deep fried, crispy and all that. Big people chicken tenders, a fruit and cheese plate, a veggie and dip plate, bread and butter, and peanut butter cheesecake and a bottle of sparkling cider, which we had our own cider, thanks! LOL And, that’s really about all I can tell you about that. Of course, we ruined the next day because we were both so hung over. OMG. we haven’t drank like that since I don’t remember. Hubby threw up about 5 or 6 times. I never threw up, but I was wishing I could. Needless to say, the B & B experience in Ft. Scott, Kansas will need a do over because we didn’t get to walk around town and go into all the neat little shops. We were going to go to the park and go for a walk on the walking trail, and all kinds of other stuff. We just couldn’t do it. We got in the truck and looked at each other and I said, please take me home, I am so sick, and he said OKAY! We were bad. LOL I should have sent this message to you by email, oh well. You can always email me, too, at tlohuis@yahoo.com I sure hope I don’t scare you away with this story. LOL I’m usually just sick and in bed all the time, not out running around getting drunk like a wild indian, but I must say it was fun at the time. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and hope to hear from you soon. Take care, my friend.
        Peace and HUGS,
        Tammy

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        • Oh my word…LOL! What a funny story! It sounds like just what you needed- a lot of fun! I’m so glad you enjoyed yourselves, hangover aside..lol. And nice to see I’m not the only fan of wine in a box..I love the taste of Franzia, especially the Cabernet. Expensive wine isn’t sweet enough for my taste.

          I’m so sorry about your friend’s cat being diagnosed with diabetes. It’s not an easy thing! She’s welcome to email me if she needs any advice. My lil man’s been through a lot, so I’ve learned a lot.

          I sure hope your eye dr is wrong & your other eye will be fine! Sounds like the bronchitis may be improving. YAY! Hopefully you’ll feel back to normal soon! If you even remember what normal feels like.

          Thank you.. I’ve ended up sick myself. Woke up nauseous & feverish yesterday, & only some better today. I believe the craziness of the last few months, plus grieving, plus anxiety over driving an hour to my aunt’s memorial service all have officially kicked my butt, & my body’s telling me to rest. I got the point! I’m currently in bed as we speak. I love my tablet..lol

          Take care & hope you have a great day. ❤

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          • Hi Cynthia,
            Hope you’re doing okay today. HUGS right off the bat. I agree with you on the wine. I like sweet wine, none of that dry stuff for me, YUCK! Plus, there’s a lot of wine in those boxes, seems to last awhile. My hubby said the box was pretty light. Good Lord! We really out did ourselves, but we had so much fun and we really do enjoy each others company and have a lot of fun together. We both have a great sense of humor and don’t take life too seriously. Life is too short for that and when you’re in my condition you just never know when you’re number is gonna be up.
            I’ll let my friend Julie know about the cat situation and insulin. She was just starting and really having a rough time, but was getting the hang of it. She’s like the rest of us, loves that cat to death. You may even already know her. I met her here and she is hilarious.
            I sure hope my other eye doesn’t do the same thing, like he said, but as long as my retina doesn’t attach I’ll be fine. I just have to live with seeing these floaters. He said some people they go away and others they don’t, and apparently, and of course, I’m still seeing them. It’s very annoying and bothersome. It’s like I see a spider or two in my peripheral vision, at first I was batting and smacking at it wondering what it was, before I found out. LOL It does feel like the bronchitis may be on it’s way out. Maybe the Prednisone finally did it’s job. I’ll go to the pulmonologist for nothing, which I guess would be a good thing. I don’t need anymore illnesses or diseases. I already have more than my fair share. Better not start attacking my lungs. So, I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the breathing continues to do well. Gasping for air is kind of a scary thing. Do you have asthma? I hope not. I’ll never be “normal” again, but I can get back to what “normal” is for me. I did walk on my treadmill for 15 minutes today and plan to do it again in a little bit. I have strict orders to go slowly and work my way up. none of this all or nothing business. So, I actually followed directions today. I’m a bit of a rebel. If you tell me not to do something, I’m going to do it for sure and the other way around. If I have to be sick and not have much of a life, I figure I can act as immature as I want. LOL
            Sorry you’re sick. Yes, you’ve been through a lot and all that can certainly take a toll on your body. How are you coping with things, if you don’t mind me asking? You doing any better? I know it takes me awhile to grieve. We all do it at our own pace. Then we may think we’re over it and it hits us smack in the face a few weeks or even months later. I’m also in my bed, right where I am most of the time. LOL I guess, it’s not really funny, but I try to make the best of it and some days I’m better at it than others. I don’t have a tablet yet. I hope one day I can get one. I feel like my laptop is on it’s way out. It’s about 4 years old and used for hours upon hours almost every day. My laptop is my world and I’ll have to get another one right away. Can’t live without my connection to the outside world. I’m sure glad we have these things these days. Back in the day, I don’t think I would have survived, laying here in my bed every day, by myself while everyone else is away at work and school. I would have gone much crazier than I already have. Thank God for technology, even though most of it is very frustrating for me because I don’t know how to do much other than email, FB, blog, google and do research. Whenever I ask my kids to show me how to do something, they always say, here just let me do it, it will be a lot faster. I don’t learn a thing unless I actually do it. Well, I’m getting out of control and writing another chapter to my never ending novel. I’ll shut up for a bit. I hope you get better all the way around real soon. You know I’m always here if you want or need to talk, vent or whatever. My email address is tlohuis@yahoo.com I probably already gave you that, but with this ADHD, that’s the way it is. Take care and have the best day possible with the way you are feeling. Sending lots of sunshine and HUGS your way.
            How do you make those hearts? Everyone always does that and I haven’t a clue. All I know how to do is make a smiley face:)
            Peace and hugs,
            Tammy:)

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            • Hi, Tammy!

              Aww, thanks for the hugs. 🙂

              I’m with you on wine. I don’t mind kinda dry, but if I am more thirsty after drinking something, that’s not right…

              That is awesome you & hubby have such fun together. You’re so right- life is too short, so you need to enjoy it!

              Julie sounds great. I’m sure she’ll do well by kitty. Diabetes is scary, though, I know.

              Hopefully your floaters will disappear too. Stranger things have happened!

              Let’s hope & pray you do see that pulminologist for nothing. This episode with bronchitis sounds so miserable! It’s time you catch a break.

              LOL. I get that rebel thing- I’m much the same way- but I’m glad you followed directions today. It’d just suck if you went backwards.

              How am I coping? Not well, frankly. My brain is always so full & busy (not sure how else to describe it) because of the C-PTSD, adding so much to it with grief & other things makes me feel so overwhelmed.

              Ugh on your laptop. Not nice it’s dying. Hopefully you can replace it soon.

              As for a tablet, I got mine at Walmart.com for only $69. It’s a $149 tablet! You might want to check it out. It’s a nice little next book.

              Technology is a great thing for sure! You can meet some wonderful people online.

              Thank you for being a willing listener. I’m here for you too. 🙂 I hope you have a great evening.

              As for the hearts, type < 3 but without the space in between.

              Hugs to you..

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              • Hi Cynthia,
                No thanks needed for hugs, they are free, only to be received.
                Now, after talking about not having any trouble with the breathing since I was in my doctors office last Thursday, it’s starting back up tonight for some damn reason. Gonna need a breathing treatment in a minute. I put my blogging first and get to my breathing treatment second. LOL
                No worries about trying to explain PTSD to me because I’ve also been blessed with that. My mind is always racing. I get it and I’m sorry that you have to be going through all this and to have to have this stupid PTSD, as well. My list would probably shorter if I told you what I don’t have, rather than what I do have. We’ll have to do some private mails soon where I can share more of my journey with you. I’d rather have these long conversations by email anyway because then we don’t have to risk the message vanishing on us right at the very end. Nothing makes me more mad. I’m sorry you’re still feeling so overwhelmed. I know it’s hard. I wish I could do or say something to make it better because I would do it in a minute, just for you. I feel sad for you. HUGS, HUGS, and more HUGS………….that’s all I know to do.
                As far as the laptop, it is a good one. It’s a Gateway, so it may last awhile longer. It just seems like around 4 years is the average lifetime of these laptops and I’m on it all the time and I would like to have the new one before this one totally fries on me because I will go bat shit crazy without my laptop for even a few hours. I’m addicted, but I’m disabled and have nothing better to do than blog and talk to such nice and sweet people like you all day. It’s my connection to the outside world. I’ve really met some awesome people here and formed some true friendships. Do you ever skype? I’ve skyped with a few people, too. Maybe I could get me one of those tablets so I would at least have something when this fries on me and then I could get my laptop when I can afford it, not quite sure when that will ever be, but I’ll flip out about that when it happens, no need to start flipping just yet. What brand is your tablet?
                No thanks needed for listening ears and seeing eyes, either. Talking and listening is my specialty. LOL I can talk forever, but I’m also capable of shutting up long enough to listen, too. I was most definitely blessed with the gift of gab. You don’t worry about me right now. I’m too busy worrying about you. Don’t you worry, you’ll have plenty of chances to be here for me because I’m a hot mess. I’m going to be right here and I’m going to help get you through this rough patch because that’s my other specialty. You will not be alone on this journey, ever. Not as long as I’m around. I guess I shouldn’t say I know how you feel because I don’t know how YOU feel, but I’ve experienced similar things and have some of the same diagnoses and I know how I feel and I just assume it’s kind of similar. I’m having a great evening because I’m helping you and that makes me happy. The more souls I can help, the happier I am. I can’t do anything else, so I’ve taken up helping others and I find great pleasure in doing so. Are you in Ohio? I’m sorry, with this damn ADHD I have trouble keeping things like that straight. I’m in Kansas. Well, I haven’t eaten anything all day so I better try to put a few bites of something in before I hit the deck, but you just remember I’m right here and I’ll be on here for probably another hour or so before I attempt to sleep since I was awake until 6:00 a.m. this morning. then I’ll be back tomorrow around 11 or 12 after I return from therapy. I better get to that breathing treatment too before this gets too out of control. ❤ 🙂
                Peace and more HUGS,
                Tammy

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                • I wasn’t sure if you saw, but I emailed you earlier today. Letting you know here in case you missed it

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                  • Hi Cynthia, I’ve not been doing so well and I see this message was about a week ago. Did I ever respond to the email because if I didn’t, I didn’t get it. I haven’t been on in awhile, but I did check my email before I came over here to wordpress, so if I didn’t respond, could you possibly resend it? I hope you are doing well, my friend. Trying to get caught up on all these notifications, sure is hard after being away for several days, but I’ll get each and every one of them responded to. Have a good night and we’ll talk soon.

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    • Hi Tammy! How are you doing?
      I did email you, but deleted the mail after sending it so I can’t resend it. (If I don’t delete, my tablet saves all kinds of mail & drives me nuts!) I hope you’re doing alright! Take care of yourself!

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  2. I live with these questions every day. I don’t understand either.

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  3. its to late for me . the last thing I had left to get money for busfares she stole from me yesterday. I just hope that someone will find and read this .because I did not find out about what she has done to me until it was far to late ‘she has shut me out of facebook atleast I could have got ahold of someone .I don’t care what anyone thinks of me whats worse is shes doing this evil stuff to me and for so long and she gets away with it all and the worst is shes enjoying it so much.

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    • I am so sorry to hear that, Doug. That definitely is the worst part, isn’t it, when they enjoy the harm they cause. I hope & pray things turn around for you!! It’s never too late.. things can turn around, even when they don’t seem like they can.

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  4. Pingback: An Abuser's Lies Are Demonic - Nyssa's Hobbit Hole

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