Recently I was watching a show on television. A lady was talking about a man she knows who has Parkinson’s disease. He travels around the USA & talks to people about this horrible disease. She said that he never lets Parkinson’s get him down. In fact, he never talks about it unless he is talking about what happens during his speaking engagements.
This sounds pretty admirable on the surface, doesn’t it? It sounds like this gentleman is doing the impossible by conquering a horrific disease. He sounds brave, strong, determined, & able to handle anything. Yet somehow this didn’t sit right with me.
If you have a serious health problem, such as this gentleman’s Parkinson’s disease, no matter how brave, strong & determined you are, you still have limitations. It seems like to so many people admitting that there are limitations on someone with physical or mental health problems is a bad thing. Think about it for a moment. If a person doesn’t show obvious signs of an illness or disability, many people have no patience for them when their symptoms flare up or if they no longer can do things they used to do easily. I’ve seen this myself with my own health problems. When I nearly died from carbon monoxide poisoning in 2015, I passed out & hit my head bad enough to require 11 staples to close up the giant gash on my scalp. That blow to the head plus the lack of oxygen thanks to the carbon monoxide caused quite a bit of brain damage. No one saw my staples since they were hidden under my hair & I didn’t look any different after the poisoning. Those closest to me believe that I have problems stemming from it, but those not as close to me rarely do. In fact, a former friend of mine made fun of me for being so forgetful now, & at one point laughingly told me I was “old & senile.”
Another problem with the limitations is admitting to them can be met with some pretty nasty replies. Even those with good intentions can come across hurtful & yet still shaming when they say things like, “Stop letting it get you down!” or, “You’re being too negative!”
Those of us who live with invisible illnesses have it pretty rough. Not only do we have the illnesses & their miserable symptoms to live with, but we also face the insensitivity & even nastiness of other people. It can be quite depressing & frustrating! My hope is to encourage those of you in this situation some today.
Rather than listen to the nonsense other people say, try to ignore it as best you can. They aren’t you. They don’t know the pain & frustration you live with, so what right do they have to judge it?
Just because you don’t “look sick” (whatever that is supposed to be) also doesn’t mean that you aren’t sick, either. People who say that clearly don’t know how illnesses work. Not everyone with an illness looks like they have an illness. Some people have back problems & walk with a cane while others don’t. Some people with cancer lose a great deal of weight, others don’t. Many people with diabetes look perfectly healthy, & some have lost limbs due to the horrid disease. You can’t always judge a person’s state of health by their appearance, but many folks do & are quite cruel about it.
Think about your situation logically for a moment. Chances are excellent that you try your best & maybe even overdo it on your good days. You’re trying & that is wonderful! You aren’t letting your illness hold you back because you are doing your best. Even though your best now isn’t as it was prior to the illness, you’re still doing your best & that counts!
Admitting you have limitations isn’t being too negative, either. It’s accepting the reality of your situation. How is that a bad, negative thing? Being realistic is simply wise! It helps you to find the best ways to deal with your situation, which clearly is a very good thing.
Try not to let the ignorant opinions of other people get you down. You know you’re trying your best & that you truly have an illness. Sometimes that really can be enough.
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