I absolutely detest flying monkeys. In my opinion, they truly are the worst of the worst. They’re sorry excuses for human beings who encourage innocent people to tolerate infinite amounts of all manners of abuse & cruelty & shame them for having any boundaries or self respect. Recently I had yet one more reminder of exactly why I despise these people.
At the time I’m telling this story, my latest flying monkey interaction just happened about a week ago. It’s been over 4 years since my mother died & 5.5 years since my father died, yet I had the “pleasure” of dealing with yet another one of their flying monkeys.
My husband & I were going out. He was waiting in the car & I had just come out my front door. A woman was walking along the sidewalk in front of my home. She said “Cyndi?” My guard immediately went up, because no one other than the couple of family members I speak with & anyone who knew my parents call me that instead of Cynthia. Anyway, I said yes… can I help you? She told me her name & I knew who she was. Her daughter & I went to school together. She seemed ok at first, even said I looked good, but my guard was still up anyway because you just never know. She then asked how my mother was & I was shocked. I told her she passed over 4 years ago in April, 2019. She then mentioned Dad dying too & I said yes, he died in 2017. She said Mom told her I wasn’t speaking to them, which I felt was very inappropriate. I just said that was true. She said Mom also told her I went to the hospital when Dad was dying when no one was around. I was surprised & said no. She said a cemetery employee told my mother that. Very strange & it surprised me, which is why I said what I did. Being so surprised, my guard slipped a bit.
She went on to say that she did things for Mom all the time. Suddenly her story changed to helping her out a couple times. This conversation was making me more & more uncomfortable.
Then this person said her husband died a couple months ago. I said I was sorry to hear that. If she would like to chat or needs anything, I kept my parents’ phone number, so just call. My gut feeling was that she wouldn’t call, so I felt very safe saying that. She said, “Oh thanks but I don’t have the number. Besides, I have great kids.” I waited a moment, sincerely hoping she’d realize how hateful this comment was & apologize. No surprise, she didn’t. I simply said, “Well ain’t that nice.” For those of you who don’t know, that is a Southern woman’s nice way of saying either, “I don’t give a ****” or “Go **** yourself.” Both fit my mood at that moment. She didn’t reply.
She went on to ask me what I was doing with the house & I said I don’t know yet. NOT her business, so even if I had known, I wouldn’t have told her. She said Mom would be proud of me living there so I just said thanks in the hopes of shutting her down. Then we parted ways.
Since this interaction, I’ve been angry. I’m not really mad at her specifically anymore. At least I know now to stay away from her, which is good to know. I’m absolutely furious how people can be. If you go no contact with a parent, people almost always assume you’re a spoiled brat or a selfish horrible person who hates your parents. You’re treated like a pariah who deserves everything bad in life. Yet, if you maintain the toxic relationship, that is applauded. It’s absolutely backwards! Severing ties with any abuser, even parents, should be celebrated & supported, not shamed, but that’s not how things are. This has infuriated me for years, but then learning that even years after narcissists died that their flying monkeys still have no problem being their awful, heartless selves just made me even angrier.
I hope sharing this story will help you somehow. Apparently there isn’t an end to flying monkeys doing their thing, so it may help you to remember that. Also, no matter how well you handle the situation, they most likely still are going to upset you at some point, because that is just what they do. If you are considering no contact with your narcissistic parent, keep in mind this sort of thing will happen to you too. I don’t mean to make you reconsider no contact by telling you that. It’s just a simple warning so (hopefully) you’ll be prepared for it when it happens. Lastly, remember… no matter how wrong or delusional flying monkeys are, it’s their right to think as they do. There’s also no point in trying to open their eyes to the truth when they are so convinced they’re right. Rather than try, responding with “well ain’t that nice” can be quite helpful. Saying that sounds polite, but you know what it really means & that can be so satisfying when said to awful people like this!
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